In answer......

Definitely PMS!!!!!

How???

I'm having conflicting needs at this point in my life. I want but I don't want. I need but I don't need. sigh*

Something like this.....sound familiar

"Every time we lie awake

After every hit we take

Every feeling that I get

But I haven’t missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake

By every sigh and scream we make

All the feelings that I get

But I still don’t miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you"

- (I Hate) Everything About You; Three Days Grace -

Then at other times I also feel like this;

"When you see my face

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

When you walk my way

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

And truth be told, I miss you

And truth be told, I'm lyin'"

- Gives You Hell; All American Rejects -

And the worst feeling of all........

"Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest nights

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like fallin'

Gravity can't forget

To pull me back to the ground again

It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breakin'

It's the risk that I'm takin'

I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see you halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over you face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away"

- Halo; Beyonce Knowles -

Ok, ok I know it's sappy and melodramatic but I can't help it. Hmm.....wonder if it's just PMS. Damn!

The bug...

I have been ill since the start of this month. No joke. I was working at odd hours during the last week of March. Sleep at 12am, wake up at 3 or 4 am to finish work and then go to work. It was like that for most of the week. On April 1st a few of us were preparing for the Best Employers in Asia (BEA) event. It was a pretty big event and i was the emcee. The agenda kept changing and everything was finalized only on the eve of the event. That night I had to prepare the emcee script. Thing is it was a formal event with a minister as the VIP. That was what put pressure on me - that and the fact the BEA project manager was a bit bossy. The company we were partnering with were useless, they did not even set up the stage according to our specifications. So the night before we had to make changes and ensure that everything was ok. Finished at Prince Hotel at 9 and headed back to the office to finalize the music and other stuff. Reached home at 1130pm, showered and slept at 12am. Woke up at 3 to finish script. Left my house at 630am so I could be at the Hotel early but me being the Jonah that I am, was stuck in a jam at 630am mind you. I finally reached the hotel at 730am when it's actually only 15 minutes away. F**k. Anyway was finalizaing everything cos there were more changes. I was nervous as hell. R called to wish me luck, all the while I kept saying I was so nervous i felt like puking. His encouragement was to remember that they were only human. My colleague R gave me shoulder rubs to ease the tension. So i finally started and R gave me the nod and thumbs up. I relaxed and the event went on well enough. Could have been better but I did get compliments so i felt it was not too bad. A few of us went to Bangkok Jazz after the event for drinks. I had 2 (the least in the group). That night when I went home I crashed and burned. Totally! R called to find out how the event went. He wanted to meet up but I was so bummed i was barely audible over the fone. Just slept and slept and slept. Woke up early the next day (I told my boss that I was taking leave that Friday to recover and she was ok with it, she encouraged it even) with a splitting headache. That was the start of it. Still I had to squeeze in time to finish a proposal for some client. That night was also the night my best friend J was coming home from Singapore after a week. Her birthday was on the 2nd and unfortunately the poor dear was away. Her sweetheart of a boyfriend was cooking her dinner (prawn sambal yummy). I slept the whole day wishing the headache would disappear. It did get better for a while so I decided to finish the proposal. Then it hit me again, oh...the nausea and my sweaty clammy palms....I went anyway. The food was good, they wanted to go to Waikikis, L was very persuasive and i don't know how to say no. So we went for a while. At least Y and I were there for a while. L,J and B stayed on. Went home and slept. And it was downhill from there. The flu, fever, sore throat, asthma attacks, and the worst - the cough. I'm still not fully recovered but I'm so much better now. Was stoned most of the time thanks to the medication I was on. Still.....it didn't come close to the real deal so no comfort there. In fact it left me feeling really dehydrated that I felt I was gonna spontaneously combust at any time. There was a time when my fever was so high that I slept with a cold compress on my forehead and a wet towel around my neck. But that also aggravated the cough, which rose from deep within my lungs, struggling to be released from the walls of mucus which lined my whole respiratory system.

There were windows where i did get better and thought I was recovering and so I went back to the office but it only became worse. My boss looked at me and told me to take complete rest before I thought about getting back to the office. I seriously looked as if i crawled out of the grave. So i took the opportunity to sleep and read. I have offically run out of books to read, and I can't find anything interesting at the bookshops. Y, any suggestions? I really liked the one by Hanif Kureishi that we picked up - I could see why you loved that book, it was so you - sick and totally twisted 8-S. Couldn't find his other book though.

So I'm back at the office now, it's good to be back, lots of things to keep me busy. So long then.....

The men behind your fav tipples....

This totally caught my attention and i just HAD to share it with you ;)

It’s hard to walk down the aisle of a liquor store without running across a bottle bearing someone’s name. We put them in our cocktails, but how well do we know them? Here’s some biographical detail on the men behind your favorite tipples.

1. Captain Morgan

The Captain wasn’t always just the choice of sorority girls looking to blend spiced rum with Diet Coke; in the 17th century he was a feared privateer. Not only did the Welsh pirate marry his own cousin, he ran risky missions for the governor of Jamaica, including capturing some Spanish prisoners in Cuba and sacking Port-au-Prince in Haiti. He then plundered the Cuban coast before holding for ransom the entire city of Portobelo, Panama. He later looted and burned Panama City, but his pillaging career came to an end when Spain and England signed a peace treaty in 1671. Instead of getting in trouble for his high-seas antics, Morgan received knighthood and became the lieutenant governor of Jamaica.



2. Johnnie Walker
Walker, the name behind the world’s most popular brand of Scotch whisky, was born in 1805 in Ayrshire, Scotland. When his father died in 1819, Johnnie inherited a trust of a little over 400 pounds, which the trustees invested in a grocery store. Walker grew to become a very successful grocer in the town of Kilmarnock and even sold a whisky, Walker’s Kilmarnock Whisky. Johnnie’s son Alexander was the one who actually turned the family into famous whisky men, though. Alexander had spent time in Glasgow learning how to blend teas, but he eventually returned to Kilmarnock to take over the grocery from his father. Alexander turned his blending expertise to whisky, and came up with “Old Highland Whisky,” which later became Johnnie Walker Black Label.


3. Jack Daniel

Jasper Newton “Jack” Daniel of Tennessee whiskey fame was the descendant of Welsh settlers who came to the United States in the early 19th century. He was born in 1846 or 1850 and was one of 13 children. By 1866 he was distilling whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Unfortunately for the distiller, he had a bit of a temper. One morning in 1911 Daniel showed up for work early and couldn’t get his safe open. He flew off the handle and kicked the offending strongbox. The kick was so ferocious that Daniel injured his toe, which then became infected. The infection soon became the blood poisoning that killed the whiskey mogul.Curious about why your bottle of J.D. also has Lem Motlow listed as the distillery’s proprietor? Daniel’s own busy life of distilling and safe-kicking kept him from ever finding a wife and siring an heir, so in 1907 he gave the distillery to his beloved nephew Lem Motlow, who had come to work for him as a bookkeeper.

4. Jose Cuervo

In 1758, Jose Antonio de Cuervo received a land grant from the King of Spain to start an agave farm in the Jalisco region of Mexico. Jose used his agave plants to make mescal, a popular Mexican liquor. In 1795, King Carlos IV gave the land grant to Cuervo’s descendant Jose Maria Guadalupe de Cuervo. Carlos IV also granted the Cuervo family the first license to commercially make tequila, so they built a larger factory on the existing land. The family started packaging their wares in individual bottles in 1880, and in 1900 the booze started going by the brand name Jose Cuervo. The brand is still under the leadership of the original Jose Cuervo’s family; current boss Juan-Domingo Beckmann is the sixth generation of Cuervo ancestors to run the company.

5. Jim Beam

Jim Beam, the namesake of the world’s best-selling bourbon whiskey, didn’t actually start the distillery that now bears his name. His great-grandfather Jacob Beam opened the distillery in 1788 and started selling his first barrels of whiskey in 1795. In those days, the whiskey went by the less-catchy moniker of “Old Tub.” Jacob Beam handed down the distillery to his son David Beam, who in turn passed it along to his son David M. Beam, who eventually handed the operation off to his son, Colonel James Beauregard Beam, in 1894. Although he was only 30 years old when he took over the family business, Jim Beam ran the distillery until Prohibition shut him down. Following repeal in 1933, Jim quickly built a distillery and began resurrecting the Old Tub brand, but he also added something new to the company’s portfolio: a bourbon simply called Jim Beam.

6. Tanqueray

When he was a young boy, Charles Tanqueray’s path through life seemed pretty clear. He was the product of three straight generations of Bedfordshire clergymen, so it must have seemed natural to assume that he would take up the cloth himself. Wrong. Instead, he started distilling gin in 1830 in a little plant in London’s Bloomsbury district. By 1847, he was shipping his gin to colonies around the British Empire, where many plantation owners and troops had developed a taste for Tanqueray and tonic.

7. Campari

Gaspare Campari found his calling quickly. By the time he was 14, he had risen to become a master drink mixer in Turin, and in this capacity he started dabbling with a recipe for an aperitif. When he eventually settled on the perfect mixture, his concoction had over 60 ingredients. In 1860, he founded Gruppo Campari to make his trademark bitters in Milan. Like Colonel Sanders’ spice blend, the recipe for Campari is a closely guarded secret supposedly known by only the acting Gruppo Campari chairman, who works with a tiny group of employees to make the concentrate with which alcohol and water are infused to get Campari. The drink is still made from Gaspare Campari’s recipe, though, which includes quinine, orange peel, rhubarb, and countless other flavorings.

Adopted from mental_floss blog

Soulmates....

Have you ever considered someone your soulmate? This is usually something the fairer sex will be able to relate to. How many have said that they've found their soulmate in their first boyfriends? hehehe, oh the young and naive. I've never said anyone was my soulmate till now. That's why I truly believe I have found it!

What is a soulmate? How do you know if that person is your soulmate? Is there a set of criteria that defines one to be your soulmate? I don't know! All I know is, I have found mine! How do I know (s)he is my soulmate? I think it's like when you find 'THE ONE' (disclaimer:I have yet to find 'THE ONE' though). 'THE ONE' would prolly be someone you wanted to spend your whole life with, till death do you part, the moment your eyes met you knew and s*it like that. The idealist in me agrees that its IDEEEEEAL....that 'THE ONE' is also your soulmate but in this instance its not!

There's a connection you both feel that transcends the ordinary. It's like you are connected at a different level. The bond and chemistry is simply unbelievable. It may sound like cr*p and I used to think that it was cr*p until I admitted to my proud self that - I have found my soulmate! What makes me so sure that (s)he is my soulmate? They don't have to know the color of my eyes or what size shoes I wear. It's beyond that. Do you know how it is when a person calls your name and you know what they are going to say next? Or exchanging glances and immediately know what the other person is thinking? Or when you think of them and immediately they call; cos they were just thinking of you? Or sitting in silence and not feel like there's a need to say anything to fill the silence? Or actually feel the other person's pain, happiness, anger, frustrations? From the moment you met, you knew, you just knew that there was something unexplainable (which may have initially been confused with falling in 'lau'). You can totally be yourself with that person and vice versa. You were never friends, it started off as "more than friends"!

It is a wonderful feeling. It's better than being in love. Really. There's no preconceived expectations, you don't need to fulfill any expectations or be disappointed cos your own expectations were not met. It's just truly open and accepting of each other. The good, the bad, all rolled into one. And you also know for a fact that no one can come in between the 2 of you, not even 'THE ONE' (if it's not the same person). Space and time does absolutely nothing to the relationship. You don't have to see each other for years but when you do, you pick up from where you left off just as if it was 2 minutes ago. You can express emotions that you would otherwise not even think about with this person. Gosh I can go on and on and on....but I will stop now. To my soulmate, (who does not have access to my blog - (s)he doesn't need it) here's to you!!!

Weekend of Mixed Feelings

Before I start telling you about my weekend, let me give you a summary of last week. It was fcuked up! I think I reached burnout point. I looked as terrible as I felt. Jokes aside it really was a horrible week. I was working on 3 different things with the same deadlines. Just working on them would have been fine, this was ultimate torture because every time I submitted something, these fcukers would come back with more requests/changes/additions/amendments etc etc..then I would have to work on it again. I did not talk to anyone if it was not related to work, I smiled – forcibly, tried to look like really attentive but I was a million miles away and looked spaced out. Felt so depressed, dun know why – was like on the verge of breaking into tears all the while. It was weird, felt sad the whole week. Just sad and depressed. I thought I was doing fine at work, thought nobody would notice but it was all in vain. Many of my colleagues asked me if I was ok. And I hated that, I hated that the way I felt was so obvious to everyone. Usually only those who are close to me may be able to tell if I’m ok or not. This was freaky….But Sb suggested that I go for a massage. It was actually something I was meaning to do but never got around to doing. So we went to my fav massage parlour in Bangsar – I used to be one of those who couldn’t stand the idea of a stranger touching me. I’m a true believer of personal space, that’s why I hate standing in crowded trains and buses and the likes cos of invasion of my personal space. But, I digress……we went to the massage parlour and 5 mins into the massage I was feeling on top of the world. Touch my body! It was heavenly. There was an immediate transformation. I felt so light-headed and nimble, my blood was rushing through my veins vigourously.

You see, apart from feeling depressed for no reason at all, there was also something that was bugging me. One of my best frens, S just had a miscarriage. She texted me and Y on Thurs telling us that she din tell us she was pregnant cos it was too early in the pregnancy and all the pantang (taboo) and what-not’s. She was going for a D&C (dilation & curettage) or a.k.a. D&E (dilation & evacuation). (I now know what it means.) I was so sad. Just the week before, I heard that another friend in Penang (P) who just got married last November also had a miscarriage. It is I think the most devastating piece of news that a woman can receive.

After I received the text message, I immediately called her, not knowing what to say. She was sniffling at the other end of the line. I felt so sorry and sad (was in tears myself as usual), just felt like giving her a hug. Actions speak louder than words and this was one of those moments where this rang true. I tried to comfort her but all I could say was “Babe, I don’t know what to say” and she was like “I don’t know what to say either.” So I told her I’d call her later. Tried calling Y after that but he din pick up.

He called me later when he stepped out of the meeting and was equally stunned by the news. Our conversation: (or something along these lines)

Y: Eh, howlah K. I just got the message.

Me: Yalah, that's why I called you. I called her and she was upset.

Y: I dunno what to saylah.

Me: I also din know what to say. I mean what can you say in situations like thislah kan?

Y: Yalah, I hate it when people say 'Oh be strong, everything will be ok.' It's so corny.

Me: [Blushing] Err....I kinda told her that. I know it's so cliche but i really din know what to say.

Y: It's ok if we tell some random stranger or acquaintancelah but we know her so well.

Me: Yeah. I just told her 'I'll call her later'. So what time are we going to see her tomorrow? [It was a statement rather than a request - when you know someone long enough it makes sense to drop everything and go]

Y: Anytime.

Me: Oklah I'll try to leave work early so we can beat the jam and head over. She'd prolly be staying at her Mom's place.

Y: Ok,ok. We can go to TGIF and celebrate.

Me: WHAT??!!?? Celebrate? Y, our friend just had a miscarriagelah, you nak celebrate?

Y: No, I mean we go out to TGIF and we be sad together?

Me: She's not suppose to be moving around.

Y: Oh yalah. I don't know what to tell herlah.

Me: I think you should just text her. Don't go saying things like "let's celebrate" please hehehe

Y: Ok, ok hehehe

So there my dear friends is what's in a man's mind. =)

We go see her and spend some time with her. As usual we were talking and bitching about others. Oh yeah, Y had a funny moment with the Pak Guard at S's place. hehehe. He was screaming at the guard like he was deaf or something. And Y was "so sweet" he bought his own food and drinks to take to S's place. (We went empty-handed mind you save for the chipsmore and 100plus).

After that we drove to Mines to catch a movie, but the entrance to the carpark was already jammed up so we took a detour to Balakong Jaya Jusco. Apparently it was this new happening place (according to Y). It was also crowded so I suggested Solaris at Mont Kiara. It was a quiet yet happening spot. Y and I decided to indulge at Saffron which looked fancy. He ordered the Arabic mixed grill platter and I wanted to try their Paella. When our food arrived, we were shocked! It was Nasi Goreng Seafood (Seafood "Flyd Lice") and Nasi Beriyani! WTF? And it cost us a bomb! Then Y and I walked around the whole of Solaris trying to find a nice quiet spot to chill. We walked pass this joint called Solaris Club where a sad rendition of Mariah Carey's "Without you" was heard (or so we thought). We finally gave up and decide to go to Souled Out at Hartamas. As we walk pass this Solaris Club, we glanced inside and mother, it was a 2 piece band! The horrible rendition of songs were from them. Y and I immediately decided that there was where we were going to hang out. So we boldly walk into the club. We were the only non-Chinese there but we din give a flying fcuk! We ordered our drinks (they had a pretty limited menu) and "enjoyed" the not so sultry voices of the 2 who at that time were belting out Man Bai's "Kau Ilhamku". It was the worst rendition of that song ever! I swear!!!

We laughed and swayed with the music while the others sat in stony silence just drinking and getting frisky with the double-hatted waitresses (waitress cum ermm....go figure). Then we called it a morning and left.

Y and I met up again on Sunday. We had a blast at The Curve. Shopping kat IKEA, jalan-jalan and makan. I bought this really cute bookshelf and 5+1books. 5+1 cos the one i gave to Y. All this stuff and I only spent RM15. Hah? Yes, that's right, RM15. I used up my vouchers from last year's recognition award. It was going to expire and what better way to spend it than with good friends. Sweet Y helped carry the 22kg bookshelf 5 floors up to my house. Danke Y.

We stopped at Alexis in Bangsar for their too-die-for Tiramisu. I swear it is extravagant and sinful and oh so orgasmic.

The sinful Tira-miss-u. (And the ciggies to compare for size)

Then we drove home in the heavy rain. So all in all, it was both a good weekend tinged with sadness.

I love both you guys! Muacks!!!

Vals...

Life's been good to me. I had an excellent Christmas and New Year. Got rid of the 3 scum bags who were destroying my life (all 3 came back mind you! and 2 got chucked again) have become closer to my sisters and family. Work's been good too. Hard to imagine that, since I'm always ranting about it =) But it really has been good. I've been swamped and stressed, but this is good stress, I like the challenging stuff that I'm presented with, it keeps me on my toes and my mind's alert. The only downside of this is that I'm exhausted after work and during the weekends. And so i choose to stay home. In fact had to bail out on a few meetings with friends. I'm sure they are pissed with me but I just can't do too much. Heck I don't even like to go for drinks after work anymore. It seems like such a hassle nowadays.
Valentine's Day was pretty good this year, for my standardslah. I've grown out of it I think. I used to be one of those people who wished the whole world on this day and had to celebrate it. But I think it's too commercialized nowadays. You don't need one day in a year to express how much you 'lau' someone. They should know you love them throughout the year. My previous blog entry - "I can see clearly now!!" says it all. Maybe i'm just not too cynical this year. Gawd! Am I actually growing up..sob* sob*. So anyways, my colleagues (who are also my friends) gather at D's place to celebrate the eve of Val's day. Composition of total population - 2 in a serious relationship (both long-distance), 3 singles, 1 divorcee. All women! We met up at D's place and ordered some food from the cafeteria at her condo. I tell you, the assam fish was to die for. We had that during S's bday and I so had a craving for it this time around also. The sauce was just right, spicy (even for me) and not sweet but with a slight zing to it.

The infamous assam fish

Slurp! i'm salivating just thinking of it. Then we ordered other local dishes to complement the assam fish but I tell you, that dish, was in the limelight. So after dinner, Sb & MP show up, late as usual - real yindian timinglah. By this time we had already started on the drinks.

We watched the first movie - The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons. I had already seen this movie but recommended it for the others. I know, I know, it starts of quite interestingly enough then drags....and drags....and drags....but then it comes to a point where it moves along nicely. Just before that part, SC,S and Sb left. Impatient! Anyway after wiping tears from our eyes, at around 1.30am, we started on the 2nd movie - P.S. I 'lau' you. I hadn't seen this one but they said it was pretty good. I cried from start till end. I know, I'm such a wuss. But I have become a bit of a softie lately, just trying to get in touch with my feminine sidelah. The movie finished at 4 something. D & I went to send PM and MP home and we stopped by at 7E for my ciggies and Magnum ice-cream. We came home and she continued online dating with her other half (she was doing that the whole day) talk about multi-tasking hehehe. I finally crashed at 6.30am.

Speaking of D, she is the main recipient of flowers in our office. Almost every week or fortnight, she receives a bouquet of flowers. Each time the flowers are of different variety and sizes. It's so sweet. And mind you, her other half - Mr. T is miles away in another continent and yet he sends her flowers so often. No excuses for you guys here!! I know he sends them to her cause he always calls me to check if the flowers have arrived and what was her expression. HE is such a sweetheart. Too sweet for my liking but such a darling. Anyways, he called me a few days in advance to let me in on the secret, he was sending her 2 bouquets - 1 on Val's day to her house and another on Monday (16th). One of it was a 100 rose bouquet. Altogether now..awwww..........So on Friday, she gets a bouquet - no surprise there. But she was not in the office yet, so I sent him a text message telling him that the bouquet arrived (I thought he changed his mind about sending it on the 16th, and i thought the 100 rose bouquet was going to be sent to her home). It was a small bouquet of tulips. No reply from him. Hmm...strange. Then D walks in the office. She was on the phone (with him of course). When her call ends, she comes to my workstation and says " babe, the freaking flowers were not from him, he's so pissed now." I was like shit, shit, shit! Did I mess it up? I told her I told him but she said before that she already asked him if he sent flowers cos the receptionist told her. Phew! So it was not my fault. But I felt bad nevertheless. Then in the afternoon another bouquet arrives - it's from the same guy not Mr. T. So every one goes like "ooohh, aaahh, so sweet, oh gosh he must be spending so much on flowers alone, ladi ladi da" only S and i know the truth but we play along of course. We begged D not to tell him considering he was so upset. He wanted to take a flight back after she got her first bouquet. I told her if she told him about the 2nd bouquet he would definitely take a flight back and he'd be worried sick. He a bit emo-lah but that's his only flaw. She din want to lie to him, but we told her it's not lying, it's preventing him from getting hurt and doing something silly. And since she had already told him about the first bouquet, it was not lying. The poor guy would be suicidal if he knew about the other 2.

The 3rd bouquet - Lillies, my favourite flower

The 2nd bouquet - The roses

The 1st bouquet - The tulips

So we told her to keep it quiet. Next day, we woke up late and lazed, chatting away. We watched Sweet November, aww.....it was quite sweet. Then at about 5pm I finally decided to go home. Was meeting J and Y for drinks later. Was quite lazy but dared not FFK again. But on the way home J sends me a text asking to postpone the meeting. So went home and lazed, watched tv. Was too lazy to do any work. At 10pm K (one of the scum bags) calls and says he's at Rum Jungle, asked me to go. I KNEW why he asked me to go =P. Decided not to waste the precious me-time that I was enjoying. All in all it was a good vals. All in the name of 'lau'