Words of Wisdom

For those who read my blog knew that i was sad a couple of days ago. I thought i lost a close buddy and friend because of something i said. A colleague of mine sent me an email today and the content of it kinda tugged at something in me and gave me a good rap on the head.

IF A MAN WANTS YOU
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what
makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,

Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he
has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...

compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a
relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...

look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and
your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you
everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget
them.
BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN

I practiced some of these things, i tell some people the same things, i know most of these things, but until i read it, i didn't know i needed it!!!

To all the women out there, you deserve more than scum!! There are sweethearts out there, they just haven't found us yet!!

Drunken Mistresses!!!

It was suppose to be our weekly Friday nite out after work. Grab a beer, chill and just talk. But with the latest project taking so much of everyone's time, I packed up and left the office. On the way to fetch P, S calls and asks me to join them for a drink. So i told them to come to Bangsar as i was already making my way there. P changes her mind and decides to go home, she was feeling tired, or was it just a ploy to avoid meeting my colleagues?? Hmm....anyways, i drop her off at her place and go on to meet Sue and S. They were already there by the time i arrived and had ordered a pitcher of beer as it was still happy hour. I think we started at 7pm. Oh btw, my abstainance from ciggies lasted a whole day....wow!! ok i know, seems like my pride levels ahave gone down this year. Well at least i could manage something!!!

So we drink, and drink and drink. One thing i have to mention, i cannot drink beer as it causes me to pee a whole lot more (hey i have a small bladder!!) and i get terrible hangovers even if its just one glass. But for the sake of drinking, i drink and we order more beer. In fact it seems like our table is never empty....Then R (S's other half) joins us. i always enjoy R's company. He makes me laugh non stop(not that thats a hard thing to do). So we sit and discuss things like sex and penis sizes and Sue's friends. The conversations got juicier by the minute as more malt and hop got into our bloodstreams. R met a friend and brought her over to join our table. She was big and had tattoos on her back. Somehow she looked so familiar, but i just couldn't place her. so she comes and talks to us for a while and takes her leave after a while. Apparently she is an International School Teacher. hmmm....

At about 1 am. we realise that we are starving. So we order some nachos (which were fantastic btw) and we stuff our faces with the cheesy stuff. Sue even has a burger, and she doesn't eat. seriously!!By the time we decide to call it a nite, Sue was red in the face and i thought i was fine. the bill came up to 6oo bucks! Damn! R was buzy with his friends inside the bar and left S outside but i really had to leave. So i did and i only realised i was fucking sloshed wen i started driving.

There was a police roadblock around the corner and i forced myself to look okay and smile at the officer who smiled back and let me through. After that the journey was havoc, i can't remember anything. I have no idea how i got home that nite as i was literally driving with one eye on the road. I have this thing when i have too much to drink, i can fall asleep anywhere. So i was kinda worried about doing just that, falling asleep at the wheel. I finally reach my place and try to park the car. The mere thought of climbing up five flights of stairs caused me to feel nauseous. I threw open my car door and threw up. God i retched till my stomach burned... Then i decide to have 40 winks just to regain myself. The 40 winks turned into 4 hours and when i woke up, my engine was still running and i was almost out of fuel. But i felt better, so i dragged myself out of the car and back home. But for once in my life i was scared shitless.

The next day was hell....literally hell, i just wanted to die. The hangover was horrible, it took me 2 days to recover, i slept like a baby and awoke in time to feel like dying. S text-ed me and apparently she threw up too.

So we come into the office today and give each other knowing looks. the things we spoke about were really embarrassing. But they both cannot remember so good for me hehehe as there was some bitching goin on that nite. =)

Happyness

I watched this movie yesterday - The Pursuit of Happyness staring Will Smith and his biological son. It was a typical rags-to-riches film but with a twist. It starred Will Smith, Will Smith the funny man, Will Smith the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air". Well he's come a long way since then. So, i was watching this movie and it was pretty good. I mean yeah the plot was good, the acting was real and somehow the movie tugged at my heartstrings. I found myself tearing during some points of the movie. He does say something rather profound in this film. "Do we ever find true happiness? Or do we go through life always pursuing it?" or something to that effect.

How many of you know people who are really and truly happy? I mean sincerely happy and not those who pretend to be happy. Would you say that it's all in their head? i know someone who said that "no one is really happy, those who are, are just optimistic about life and all the crap it has to offer!!" I wouldn't make such remarks myself but what i do agree is that happiness is all in the head. If you want to be happy, u will be happy, if you want to find happiness then you will find it.

On the other hand, if you want to continue living a sad life, or misery is your best fren, then that is what you will reap. Look at it this way, you notice how the traffic is always heavier when you're late getting somewhere? Or how just when you think things cannot get any worse than they already something even more horrible takes place. So, am i wrong in saying that misery in itself loves company and those who seek it find it quite easily.

Having said that, im not saying that people cannot get sad, it would be preposterous to have people walking around all day with a grin plastered across their fugly faces as if they just downed a bottle of prozac. Grieve, mourn then pick yourself up and move on. With grieving comes healing.

Are we really happy individuals? Some say having more money would make them happy. But with more money comes more worries. You would think that with more money ones financial worries would be over. I know i would be happy with more money! i would link happiness to satisfaction. When you are satisfied with something it makes you feel good, and when you feel good you are almost always happy rite? I came across an article on the web, it says that happy images make depressed individuals sad! hmm.....could it be the bitterness of not experiencing the same feeling?

Anyways, happiness is a subjective matter so in the words of Sheryl Crow "If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad....."

Redemption!!

Its a brand new day....the hols have really done me some good. I feel like how i felt on the first day of the year...recharged, rejuvenated, motivation levels are high and i dont give a rat's ass about anything. So, today marks the start of Lent- Ash Wednesday, the month (or 40 days to be exact) when Christians, Catholics to be more specific, take a guilt trip of the year. It's a time when we look back at the past year and ask for forgiveness. Yeah rite! like that's gonna come easy. For me, it's just another excuse for me to feel good about myself. And i don't think i'm alone in this. All of us seek some sort of redemption once in a while and for us (Catholics) it comes in the form of Lent. So is this really what Lent means? If my Cathecism (Sunday school) teacher heard me say the above, i would be so doomed!! Lent is actually suppose to open a path to goodness, a time when we try to turn over a new leaf. After Lent we are supposed to continue being good...easier said than done. i usually give up eating meat during Lent. So far it has worked. Tried giving up ciggies last year, it lasted 2 weeks till the devil (in the form of a friend) blinded me and caused me to fall! Ok so i'll stop with the drama now. This year, i'm gonna be a 'vegetable' (insiders joke) and try to give up ciggies again. I think my self-control is controlled by my high level of pride. which in fact is something i should really start managing. The more i tell the people around me i dont do something or i dont like something, the more i am able to sustain my decisions, cos i dont want other people to think im weak by failing. Sort of like having to eat my own words. A friend of mine asked me to give up something that gives me pleasure; like sex....i would if i could but as far as my sex life is concerned, im already on the road to celibacy =( so it would be cheating to give up something u don't even have in the first place rite?

*sigh...so sad, so sad....
Also during Lent, we sing the most depressing songs in church. Why does it have to be so sad? I mean we are celebrating Christianity so shouldnt we be glad?

"Crucified, laid behind a stone....,
You lived to die, rejected and alone,
Like a rose, trampled on the ground....
You took the fall and thought of me
Above All...."

So here's to Lent - celibacy, become a herbivor and try to save my lungs while i can....

Btw another good thing that comes from Lent is i always lose weight lets hope this year is the same. hehehe

Cheers

I can see clearly now!!!

The rain is gone!!! I think laughter really is the best medicine. After laughing my lungs out yesterday, I feel relatively good. (Excuse me if I sound a bit poetic this morning). The fuzziness has kinda left my head and everything seems clear. I know what I want to do next, and i don't feel so lost. it also helps to know that I am surrounded by people who 'lau' me for the bitch I am =P.

So whr did this sudden change of emotion come from. Yesterday was Valentine's Day or a.k.a Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.). It's the time of the year when cheating bastards, workaholic spouses and married couples try to bribe their way into the lives of their other halves ;) For those who are celebrating SAD its a whole different story. We bitch and gripe about other people who actually fall into the traps of commercialism.

Cards (written by other hopeless romantics)
Flowers (which die within 3 days)
Chocolates (which go straight to your arse),
Wine (so he can get some action)

....need I say more?

So anyways, a few of my colleagues and I decide to spend Vals/SAD with each other. We leave the office around 5.30-ish, I pick up my baby (my car) from the workshop and we go to S's place. We ordered pizza and started on the drinks. Then we decide to play "Taboo". Everyone was cracking up and it was extremely fun. I laughed until I almost cried, the alcohol also had something to do with itlah of course. By the time we left, we were all still euphoric. Good combination Drinks + Laughter = Euphoria!!! ;P

Shoite!!!

God, everything is a friggin mess!!!! I feel like eveythg has turned upside down. Work is kinda taking its toll on me, my life is sooooo f**king messed up!!! I feel like shit....Today and the past few days have been no good. To make things worse, my car has a life of its own.
The damn thing is not even a year old and its been to the workshop 3 times. luckily its still under the warranty. I owe everyone around me an apology. Have been so bitchy these past few days. Don't know how people could actually stand me. A very dear friend is also pissed with me, thanks to my fucking big mouth, I said some pretty hurtful things to him and his reply hurt even more. So will this be the end of our friendship? I hope not, i don't knw what i will do without him, seriously....

Par-tay!!!!

Had great fun last Saturday nite. It was a colleague's birthday so a few of us decided to take her partying. Had to come in to work on Saturday morning. Finished around 12 something. Lunch ended about 3.45pm. Then went to visit my aunties. Left their place at 7pm. Reached home around 8pm. Was contemplating staying at home. But decided to go. Was at Bar Savannh at 9.40pm. Earliest ever been to a club. So....Sue was already there. She was the first to arrive. A and I show up at the same time. As usual I din know how to get there so he had to wait for me somewhere nearby. We ordered a drink and waited. The b'day gal was having car trouble hehehe. If you've seen her car...you'll understand why. It's funky in a way, but I'm sure it would qualify for Pimp My Ride =) Anyways the rest of the gang arrives and among them are my boss and his girlfriend. I have a lot of respect for my boss so I don't smoke in front of him or the other senior associates. But no thanks to Sue....who dared and sabotaged me into smoking in front of him....I finally did and he goes "There are some of us who have hidden habits which the rest of us don't know about" and he has this smirk on his face. Sue goes on to say "Yeah wen she found out you were coming she said 'Oh no now I can't smoke!' " Ha ha
So anyways we hang around some more. Have a few drinks.....then the b'day gal makes a grand entrance with her other half. We were told that we would have to purchase 2 bottles of liquor upfront before entering the club for a crowd of our size; 15 pax to be exact. Sue somehow manages to weedle us into the club (by being nice to the owner) and we got someone else's place hahaha. So we go in, dance, drink, dance, drink and dance some more. There were absolutely no guys who caught my attention. It was quite disappointing as the young un's were hoping to at least flirt with cute, good-looking guys. God the place was turning into Bangsar. There were machas from god knows where and overall it was just disappointing. But we did have fun altogether. Sue, the b'day gal and I were busy bitching away hehehe.

Bane of my existence

So...yesterday after work I decide to accompany a friend/colleague to dinner at the 'mamak' restaurant. Her parents were just coming back from Singapore and she had to go fetch them from the bus terminal. So we chatted and she ate and we chatted somemore. Then while I was blabbering about something, someone comes up to the counter to get ciggies (we were seated next to the payment counter). So I just glance to the side and who should I see....none other than the person who has made my life miserable for the past 5 months. Aaarghh!!! I stop short in the middle of a sentence (this rarely happens btw) and my friend asks "why, why, what happen?" my palms start sweating, and my heart starts racing and I began shaking....of a sudden fear? don't know. And I try pathetically to hide my face hoping against all hopes that he should not approach our table. Why? I never expected to see him around. After all the nasty exchanges between us, I didn't know how to react anymore. So I just sat there in my seat, quiet as a mouse, looking so obviously restless. He was practically next to me, with his back facing me. Did he see me? I'm a 100 percent sure he did (it's not paranoia!!!) and it was taking such a darn long time for him to get his ciggies and get out! Then after what seemed like an eternity...he finally gets the hell out of the restaurant and I am left with this yucky feeling. It's funny cos just 2 nites prior to yesterday, I had a dream about him for two nites in a row, and...here comes the best part, I was whooping his ass in my dream, verbally and physically. well we now know what happens when i come face-to-face with a mad man!!! he really is a mad man. But i'll leave that story for another time. Btw I had the "puss-in-boots" face yesterday, kinda vulnerable and fragile! =)

Brains vs Street

Have you come across a real beauty without brains? You know how exasperating it can be trying to carry out a decent conversation with them rite? I'm not saying that all beautiful people are stupid but the ones that are, stand out because you dont really expect it. The attraction to a person's appearance can hold another person's attention for a while. Then the personality takes over. I'm not just saying this based on my own interpretations but many people have told me this. The male species....they are all about appearances (save the one in a million) then when your dodgy, boring personality or the lack of it, kicks in, it's Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma'am!!! Rarely do you find a person who is not firstly attracted to an individual for his/her appearance and it usually takes longer for the "ugly Betty/Joe" with a fantastic personality to snag someone. Someone dear to me once said "As far as I am concerned, girls don't have personalities..." to which i replied "So tell me then, why do you like some girls and can't stand some?" He says "well, some of them are just nice and some have an attitude problem!" And...... what determines, or drives the attitude of a person? Can't one equate attitude with personality? Personality is the substance which defines people, if one does not have a personality, then you don't really have an identity!!!

So back to the beauty vs the street smart individual. I've oft times been told that I am a streetwise gal. So i ask people, define "street smart"? the most common answer is, "if you are left out in the open world, you would be able to fend for yourself, you'll make it!" Okay.... does that mean I am intelligent? Hmm.....intelligence is a whole other issue really! then there is the issue of brains. How successful is your book smart, nerdy friend in school? He may be performing excellently at work, but how is he doing in the "life" department? Do we judge an individual's success by the amount of money he/she is bringing in? Or are there other factors to be considered? I would say that no matter how brainy an individual is, he/she needs to be "street smart" to survive in the cold, cruel world. So take your pick, Brains or Street???

What in tarnation am I doin here?

So...I told myself (and all those around me) I would never, ever, ever keep a blog (Like my mommy used to say- Never say never!) ...Why? Simply becos it would tell too much about me. It would have to be about me. But then why does it have to BE abt me. I could just write about other people instead hehehe. The colorful people who make my life "so the colourful". I'd like to think that writing about the people around me is more of a tribute rather than a bitching outlet. So....my existence is all about other people...and if you think that I will be posting intellectual stuff...think again. Its all about the ordinary, mundane ongoings in my sordid life!!!