Karma of a heartbreaker....

The words of Akon keep goin through my mind these few days (since Friday to be exact)

"Lonely...I'm Mr. Lonely,

I don't have nobody for my own..." etc etc....

Why? Well let's see, the guy i dumped has finally moved on after bugging my life for so many months. i bump into him and the whole gang (who are/were my frens too) at my fav hang out place last friday. at first i saw some unfamilliar faces who were giving me killer stares which i ignored (AT FIRST). then i say hi to a fren, one of my actual frens and she just gives a little wave with her hand.while Sh comes over and gives me a hug. Sh is my ex's fren and she is more warm towards me. so anyways i say hi to everybody else and rejoin my frens at a separate table well away from them. unfortunately they are facing the dance floor and me love to boogy so i go ahead with one of my gf's and hit the floor. 'He' is there with the little skank who was gave me the cock stare earlier. i buat bodoh and continue dancing with my fren. then we head back to my table. my frens wanted to leave cos they were tired, i was too. but Jc asked me to stay back and it din take much to make me stay. then i meet another fren who was there. it so happens that this guy who has the hots for my dear J is also good looking and a good dancer. so we hit the dance floor and i have this idiotic look on my face from trying not to puke watching those 2 slobber each other on the dance floor. (Yes i'm bitter so fuck u!) the 'dancer', lets call him Sl for Salsa is kind enough to play along and try to take the piss out of 'him'. so we dance. and the skank kept looking in our direction. we were overdoing it naturally but i din give a fuck!. it felt so shitty considering i was the one who dumped him and he's actually moved on while i'm fucking single as a dog's tail. ok dat didn't make sense but who gives a shit!. Forgive me if i'm BITTER and sound like a virgin spinster. i can't help it!. You can stop reading now if you want to. so anyways, we dance and dance and i cant help laughing at this dude. he's funny and a real gentleman (just like i keep telling u J). something worth mentioning considering the male species is made up of jerks and assholes all rolled into one. There are only a handful of males who do not conform to the norms and societal mores of being a man. they are the rare, endangered kind. (yes, B u r part of the endangered species). so Sl and i continue dancing with the hopes of making 'him' as irritated as i was. in retrospect it was such a stupid childish thing to do, but wen one's pissed, one does not give a f**king rat's ass! then came the clincher. a slow tune came on

"The nite's are lonely,, the days are so sad, and,

i just keep thinking about the love that we had,

and i'm missing you,

and nobody knows it but me..."

So Sl says, ok this is it. he twirls me round and round as part of the show. if i wasnt so pissed and upset i would be rolling on the floor with laughter. but the pain....gosh was like a stab in the heart. i caught 'him' staring stonily at us for a second and 'he' did not look away wen my eyes met his. blech! it was the most yucky feeling in the world. being the single one! it also doesn't help wen the person u care most about is in a world of his own...sigh* but i guess for all the shitty things i have done....this is 'karma' kicking me in the butt!

'he' leaves soon after with the skank, and i go back to my place....my whole weekend was kinda spoiled. but thank god i was bz, my office work and family commitments kept me somewhat sane.

Purposeful life

Have you read the book "Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren? Well i received that book as a birthday gift. i actually asked my colleague what she meant wen she gave me that book. hmmmm she must think i have no purpose in life. but i thought what the heck, just have a read and seelah. the author suggests that you read a chapter a day so that u can really take the time to reflect and ponder on your purpose of life. like Duh! so i began with chapter one....u were put here (on the earth) for a reason. hmm....i felt like one of the characters of Heroes. hehehe. okaaayyy......so wht's my purpose. and up until then i had never really thought about it. wt were u meant to do? do u want to leave the earth without anything to your name. if i die today, would i be proud of what i have accomplished so far? hm..i guess not. i just turned 24 last week and i did think of what i had accomplished so far. which is like nothing. i mean im not complaining but there's nothing i have done so far that makes me feel like i've reached a destination or accomplished a goal. i planned my life as a little kid, around 8 or 9 years of age. my aim was to graduate from university. So my life evolved around that goal. when i finally made it to uni, i was like ok...so what do i do now. and honestly i still havent figured it out. i sometimes feel lost and afloat. like i have no destination or aim whatsoever. now i'm still looking for something to work towards but i have no idea. hmm.....its been a year already since i graduated and even during my studying days i used to think of what to work towards. but let's see what and how i come up with something.

Of torn shorts and snorkelling!!

Where was i? oh yeah so we woke up the next day and made the drive to KT. it was sort of a road trip and it was really cool. im goin to speed through things a little cos i dont think anyone will have the patience to read through the whole thg apart from those who were there.
We made a few pit stops along the way, had breakfast at Hai Peng Coffee Shop and finally arrived at Sutra Beach Resort and it was raining. i cald my fren Y who din answer his fone of course but replied my text message. he's from KT and said he'll try to pop by (yeah rite!!) anyways, we check in and are quite impressed with the room. its clean, comfortable and a stone's throw away from the clean beach, not like PD. so R prepares the chicken for the Barby and the rest of us hang around. They decide to go for a swim, i take a short nap, the stupid Clarinase was making me drowsy. i join them later for a few hits of the volleyball but give up soon due to the red, bruised hands, (yeah, yeah i'm a wimp wen it comes to sports so what!). anyways, we decide to mandi air for a bit so we jump in the sea and get hit by the waves. so cool man! then we head for the pool. while walking to the pool, J tells me "Hey gal looks like there's a hole in your shorts." The stupid pair of cheap shorts which i bought in Ktn. and i feel and realise that there is. but i decide to jump into the pool anyways. the fucking shorts kept tearing more. it was tearing like paper. by the time they (my frens) wanted to leave the pool, there were huge tears in my shorts. and no one else was leaving the pool. so i just stayed in the corner of the pool waiting for the rest of the idiots to get out. it was turning dark and i was shivering from the cold, my skin was shrivelled and yet those fuckers were still in the pool. so my dear fren R gets out of the pool and covers himself with a towel and hands me his short. which i then put on in the pool and finally leave. HAHAHAHA that was actually the highlight of my holiday. hehehe luckily it was people whom i close to or else i would have died of shame. and thang god it was the day before the snorkelling. imagine if it happened wen i was snorkelling.

Anways we have our BBQ and try to sing some songs but everyoe was dead beat. the next day we wake up to watch the sunrise. but it was too dark and foggy to see anything. we have some yucky breakfast and prepare to leave for the snorkelling. we were excited. we take the boat to the Marine Park and get ready to jump in. it took me 20 mins to get used to the snorkelling gear. then wen i finally go under i panic cos of the depth of the water. shit! but after a while, (thanks to dear R who patiently waited by me) i was on my own. and it was so bloody cool. i was actually swimming with the fishies. i never wanted to lift my head out of the water.the only crappy part was that there were too many snorkellers around so we kept bumping into each other. the pandis are kiasu even underwater man, and many of them got return kicks and blows from me. i did accidently kick my dear cousin in the crotch though. it was totally innocent B. =) so yeah we head to another beach after dat but din get the chance to snorkel. we were promised another spot but the water was too choppy. on the way back to the mainland, (in the boat) we were soaked from the strong sea spray. so we reach and splash around in the pool for a bit. then shower and head out for dinner. My fren Y is the Lord of FFK (breaking appointments) so of course he din show up either days. the next day we wake up late and take a slow drive back to Ktn to catch the bus home. it was a rather sad but memorable day. end of the holidays....back to the grind blech!!! the best part though is that wen i get back i'm on a one week break. yippee yay!!!

Here again...

I’ve been away for a bit. It’s been kinda crazy around the office hence my not being able to write. And yes I have been reprimanded for it. Ok since I’m trying to fit in tons of stuff I will break it up into readable pieces hehehe.

The highlights:
Busy as a bee
Made some new HOT acquaintances,
Went for a greeaaat holiday (where some really memorable things took place)

Busy as a bee

Was based in the centre of the hustle bustle of KL city. It was relatively closer to home for me, nevertheless it took me approx the same time to get to the place and longer to get home. The work there was kinda routine and not too stressful. But it did keep me on my toes cos everything had to be done on the same day. On top of that it did give me an opportunity to meet a new group of people everyday. The best part of this was the amount of money I managed to save; food was provided 5 times a day, parking fees was half the amount I am used to paying and it was closer to home so less money spent on fuel since I don’t even bother going to my regular hang out places too. The downside of that – I packed on the pounds *sob *sob. Now I can’t reveal what work I was doing there as it is highly confidential so u can assume whatever you want. Nothing illegal though, mind you. =)

Now I’d like to justify my ‘busyness’. Been involved in 4 different projects with close sometimes overlapping deadlines, 2 different forms of training with actual work needing to be done. I rest my case. The busyness did me some good actually. Not only did I learn a helluva lot I got to really know my team and the diversity of each individual. I will not lie and say that I accepted everythg with open arms and mind. I bitched and griped and whined (to those close to me of course) but in the course of time I manage to learn about acceptance and adapting. So, it did me some form of good. I’m working on a few things now but after such a hectic month, these 2 weeks we have, seem like blissful joy before we are thrown into the sea of work again.

New HOT acquaintances

Met this cute, nice guy in a club, thanks to my dearest fren who insisted that i go talk with him. but me being the 'shy' person that i am just decides to steal glances and make eye-contact. So what do my beloved cousins do....one dances with me and the other goes and introduces herself. And haha the surprise was on her. the guy knew her. Apparently they studied together at the same Instituition but my dear fren completely forgot. So anyways , she decides to share her embarassment wiht me and brings the guy over. So we talk and exchange numbers. Then i find out he just joined this organisation where a close fren of mine works (the world gets smaller everytime). He doesn't know her (barely being there a week). We keep in touch for a bit after that first meeting, smses and calls. Seems like a decent guy so no harm in being frens. He invites me for drinks and lunches which i turn down, not on purpose but due to really not being able to make it. i invite him for drinks and he declines as well cos of family matters. But we do finally meet up for drinks one evening, "I'm with my very cute, single and available fren" he says. and i think to myself "yeah rite." i never trust guys who tell me they have a cute, single fren who's available. If he's so cute how can he be single AND available. So i walk into Chilli's feeling a little nervous as it was my first meeting with this guy after the nite at the club. By this time he is already acquainted with my fren who works in the same place as he. I find them in the corner and had to control myself from stopping short in my tracks. The guy was HOT, HOT, HOT! Damn! Really and truly. So i compose myself and and act like i didn't even notice a really gorgeous guy was rite before my eyes. I was kinda surprised with myself. I've never been taken away by guys this good-looking i usually think of them as being Obnoxious Adonis Men, narcissistic and annoying. But this guy, practically gave me goose bumps. Phew!

So i arrange a few meetings after that "as a group", went back to the club where i met Cute guy A and asked him to drag along Cute guy B. hehehe. Had a pretty good time, though both don't dance (Cute Guy B apparently only dances wen he's had too much to drink). But i was in bimbo mode all nite long. Bimbo mode meaning i was still getting goosebumps wen i look at Cute Guy B. It was so bad that i actually ditched the 2 people whom i love so much (u guys are reading this im sure hehehe). the next time around i meet them for drinks, i drag my faithful colleague S along this time. She behaves very well and pretends that I had never previously said anything about them. So Cute guy A sits with us while Cute Guy B is at the same place but was sitting elsewhere. Anyways, ladi ladi da, bimbo mode was switched on.

Hoilday

The next day, my darling 'cousins' and i left for the East Coast for the long-awaited, long-overdue holiday that we so rightly deserved. Ok, ok i won't be so dramatic. but the holiday was great. We took the coach to a city in the East coast. It was a pleasant journey. The 3 of us were seated in a row and chatted all the way to the town where i spent most of my secondary school days. Ah...the familiarity of it all. I felt a warm tingle run through me. Had this strange feeling of being home. The familiarity was overwhelming. I've been away only 3 years or so, but it felt like a part of me had been left behind sigh* it's true this time, i'm not being a drama queen. I quietened down as we reached the outskirts of the town, reminiscing and filling my cousins in on the memorable happenings along the way. so many of the places brought back all kinds of memories for me.

Anyways we reach the town and a fren comes and fetches us from the bus terminal, we were then invitied to lunch at his home, i know this guy and his family for the past 10 years so i wasn't uncomfortable. After a scrumptious home-cooked meal, we proceed to the hotel in which we were staying for the nite. We were kinda shocked at the size of the room, but we laughed about it. Imagin, 4 adults in a room meant for 2 with 4 sets of luggage. My 2 darling cousins packed as if they were goin on a holiday to Australia hehehe. everything but the kitchen sink, but it did come in handy as i needed sandals. I woke up with a hangover, had only about 2 and a half hours of sleep. Was kinda sloshed the nite before with Cute Guy A and S and her husband so i threw in a few things, couldnt find half of what i needed but was running late (with the cabbie blaring its horn) so just grabbed whatever i had and thought i'd make do.

But back to the room, we have a quick fix up and we leave to do a little shopping (last minute stuff). I left behind my swim suit (can you believe that!), goin for a holiday by the beach and u leave your swimming togs. So anyway deciding not to buy a new swim suit, i decide to get a pair of lycra shorts and pair it up with a tank top. I get these pair of tights which only cost about MYR 15 and think what the heck! so anyways that nite we take the river cruise to see the fireflies which my dearest cousin calls keling-kelings. it was a slip of the tongue cos its called kunang-kunang in Malay. 'Keling' is a derogatory term for the local Indians, equivalent to the term nigger. It was quite a nice ride. Our local priest joined us on the cruise along with some of his frens. After that we had dinner and went for a midnight show - Wild Hogs which i thought was pretty good. Oh btw i was having the sniffles and it was buggin me cos i was feeling sick. Couldnt really sleep that nite cos i could barely breathe and my darling cous was snoring into my ear. hehehe. I think i will continue in the next post. Gotta go. Will leave the suspense hanging.hehehe