Some funnies...

These are ads taken from shaadi.com - guys searching for brides..
These are actual ads on a matchmakers site. Grammar and spelling errors apparently have no importance in the profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar
after reading this.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>- Hello To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don't have
>female,If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my home. I am not
>a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u
>welcome to my heart...when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident
>or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Shekhar

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa
>state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other
>homework
>(Homework?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she
>may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the
>entire life can run smoothly. thank you
>(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>she should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have
>one brother and one sister. she should be educated.
>(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I
>love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I
>am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i
>love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on
>..........hold my hand forever !!!
>(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i am simple boy.I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck
>now i am looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot lot
>(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>My wife should
>be as 'Shivani' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as
>Tanwerr as in KSBKBT......
>(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too
>much,ain't he?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house
>but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast
>(by not wearing her jeans? Wat the freak...)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
>LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL
>MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE
>1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY
>SHOULD NOT
>GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
>(all of us are loughing{laughing})

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be
>someone bride and she must think of the future life if she is too like
>this she would be called the woman of the lamp
>(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this boy wants)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i
>love thepatner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok
>(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is
>suffering from
>"Ok-syndrome")

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1
>CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK
>(the "ok syndrome" again)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and
>Father&mother sister complity marred
>(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
>'completely'?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and
>parent. iam doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original
>resdence at kalahandi
>diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.
>(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>my name is muhamad and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes
>pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
>(height of desperation! J )

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she
>havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey.
>IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are
>beautiful.
>but iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that
>Iam a good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
>bye
>bye.
>(uttama purushan)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
>(No comments)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.
>(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i
>divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the good
>minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other
>caste accepted ...
>(but credit cards not
>accepted..???)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service
>(Zebra..???)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lot
>should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.
>(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>to be married on jan-2006. working woman perferable
>(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a
>bride.I wish him best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he
>will get one
>soon.)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure.
>because girl is the maharani.
>(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not
>paying salary at present.
>(Any takers again?)

I rest my case....any wonder they are still not attached??? sigh*