Weekend of Mixed Feelings

Before I start telling you about my weekend, let me give you a summary of last week. It was fcuked up! I think I reached burnout point. I looked as terrible as I felt. Jokes aside it really was a horrible week. I was working on 3 different things with the same deadlines. Just working on them would have been fine, this was ultimate torture because every time I submitted something, these fcukers would come back with more requests/changes/additions/amendments etc etc..then I would have to work on it again. I did not talk to anyone if it was not related to work, I smiled – forcibly, tried to look like really attentive but I was a million miles away and looked spaced out. Felt so depressed, dun know why – was like on the verge of breaking into tears all the while. It was weird, felt sad the whole week. Just sad and depressed. I thought I was doing fine at work, thought nobody would notice but it was all in vain. Many of my colleagues asked me if I was ok. And I hated that, I hated that the way I felt was so obvious to everyone. Usually only those who are close to me may be able to tell if I’m ok or not. This was freaky….But Sb suggested that I go for a massage. It was actually something I was meaning to do but never got around to doing. So we went to my fav massage parlour in Bangsar – I used to be one of those who couldn’t stand the idea of a stranger touching me. I’m a true believer of personal space, that’s why I hate standing in crowded trains and buses and the likes cos of invasion of my personal space. But, I digress……we went to the massage parlour and 5 mins into the massage I was feeling on top of the world. Touch my body! It was heavenly. There was an immediate transformation. I felt so light-headed and nimble, my blood was rushing through my veins vigourously.

You see, apart from feeling depressed for no reason at all, there was also something that was bugging me. One of my best frens, S just had a miscarriage. She texted me and Y on Thurs telling us that she din tell us she was pregnant cos it was too early in the pregnancy and all the pantang (taboo) and what-not’s. She was going for a D&C (dilation & curettage) or a.k.a. D&E (dilation & evacuation). (I now know what it means.) I was so sad. Just the week before, I heard that another friend in Penang (P) who just got married last November also had a miscarriage. It is I think the most devastating piece of news that a woman can receive.

After I received the text message, I immediately called her, not knowing what to say. She was sniffling at the other end of the line. I felt so sorry and sad (was in tears myself as usual), just felt like giving her a hug. Actions speak louder than words and this was one of those moments where this rang true. I tried to comfort her but all I could say was “Babe, I don’t know what to say” and she was like “I don’t know what to say either.” So I told her I’d call her later. Tried calling Y after that but he din pick up.

He called me later when he stepped out of the meeting and was equally stunned by the news. Our conversation: (or something along these lines)

Y: Eh, howlah K. I just got the message.

Me: Yalah, that's why I called you. I called her and she was upset.

Y: I dunno what to saylah.

Me: I also din know what to say. I mean what can you say in situations like thislah kan?

Y: Yalah, I hate it when people say 'Oh be strong, everything will be ok.' It's so corny.

Me: [Blushing] Err....I kinda told her that. I know it's so cliche but i really din know what to say.

Y: It's ok if we tell some random stranger or acquaintancelah but we know her so well.

Me: Yeah. I just told her 'I'll call her later'. So what time are we going to see her tomorrow? [It was a statement rather than a request - when you know someone long enough it makes sense to drop everything and go]

Y: Anytime.

Me: Oklah I'll try to leave work early so we can beat the jam and head over. She'd prolly be staying at her Mom's place.

Y: Ok,ok. We can go to TGIF and celebrate.

Me: WHAT??!!?? Celebrate? Y, our friend just had a miscarriagelah, you nak celebrate?

Y: No, I mean we go out to TGIF and we be sad together?

Me: She's not suppose to be moving around.

Y: Oh yalah. I don't know what to tell herlah.

Me: I think you should just text her. Don't go saying things like "let's celebrate" please hehehe

Y: Ok, ok hehehe

So there my dear friends is what's in a man's mind. =)

We go see her and spend some time with her. As usual we were talking and bitching about others. Oh yeah, Y had a funny moment with the Pak Guard at S's place. hehehe. He was screaming at the guard like he was deaf or something. And Y was "so sweet" he bought his own food and drinks to take to S's place. (We went empty-handed mind you save for the chipsmore and 100plus).

After that we drove to Mines to catch a movie, but the entrance to the carpark was already jammed up so we took a detour to Balakong Jaya Jusco. Apparently it was this new happening place (according to Y). It was also crowded so I suggested Solaris at Mont Kiara. It was a quiet yet happening spot. Y and I decided to indulge at Saffron which looked fancy. He ordered the Arabic mixed grill platter and I wanted to try their Paella. When our food arrived, we were shocked! It was Nasi Goreng Seafood (Seafood "Flyd Lice") and Nasi Beriyani! WTF? And it cost us a bomb! Then Y and I walked around the whole of Solaris trying to find a nice quiet spot to chill. We walked pass this joint called Solaris Club where a sad rendition of Mariah Carey's "Without you" was heard (or so we thought). We finally gave up and decide to go to Souled Out at Hartamas. As we walk pass this Solaris Club, we glanced inside and mother, it was a 2 piece band! The horrible rendition of songs were from them. Y and I immediately decided that there was where we were going to hang out. So we boldly walk into the club. We were the only non-Chinese there but we din give a flying fcuk! We ordered our drinks (they had a pretty limited menu) and "enjoyed" the not so sultry voices of the 2 who at that time were belting out Man Bai's "Kau Ilhamku". It was the worst rendition of that song ever! I swear!!!

We laughed and swayed with the music while the others sat in stony silence just drinking and getting frisky with the double-hatted waitresses (waitress cum ermm....go figure). Then we called it a morning and left.

Y and I met up again on Sunday. We had a blast at The Curve. Shopping kat IKEA, jalan-jalan and makan. I bought this really cute bookshelf and 5+1books. 5+1 cos the one i gave to Y. All this stuff and I only spent RM15. Hah? Yes, that's right, RM15. I used up my vouchers from last year's recognition award. It was going to expire and what better way to spend it than with good friends. Sweet Y helped carry the 22kg bookshelf 5 floors up to my house. Danke Y.

We stopped at Alexis in Bangsar for their too-die-for Tiramisu. I swear it is extravagant and sinful and oh so orgasmic.

The sinful Tira-miss-u. (And the ciggies to compare for size)

Then we drove home in the heavy rain. So all in all, it was both a good weekend tinged with sadness.

I love both you guys! Muacks!!!