My existence

In answer......

2009-04-22T17:17:00.001+08:00

Definitely PMS!!!!!

How???

2009-04-21T15:17:00.009+08:00

I'm having conflicting needs at this point in my life. I want but I don't want. I need but I don't need. sigh*

Something like this.....sound familiar

"Every time we lie awake

After every hit we take

Every feeling that I get

But I haven’t missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake

By every sigh and scream we make

All the feelings that I get

But I still don’t miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you"

- (I Hate) Everything About You; Three Days Grace -

Then at other times I also feel like this;

"When you see my face

Hope it gives you hell

When you walk my way

Hope it gives you hell

And truth be told, I miss you

And truth be told, I'm lyin'"

- Gives You Hell; All American Rejects -

And the worst feeling of all........

"Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest nights

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like fallin'

Gravity can't forget

To pull me back to the ground again

It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breakin'

It's the risk that I'm takin'

I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see you halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over you face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away"

- Halo; Beyonce Knowles -

Ok, ok I know it's sappy and melodramatic but I can't help it. Hmm.....wonder if it's just PMS. Damn!

The bug...

2009-04-20T16:27:00.006+08:00

I have been ill since the start of this month. No joke. I was working at odd hours during the last week of March. Sleep at 12am, wake up at 3 or 4 am to finish work and then go to work. It was like that for most of the week. On April 1st a few of us were preparing for the Best Employers in Asia (BEA) event. It was a pretty big event and i was the emcee. The agenda kept changing and everything was finalized only on the eve of the event. That night I had to prepare the emcee script. Thing is it was a formal event with a minister as the VIP. That was what put pressure on me - that and the fact the BEA project manager was a bit bossy. The company we were partnering with were useless, they did not even set up the stage according to our specifications. So the night before we had to make changes and ensure that everything was ok. Finished at Prince Hotel at 9 and headed back to the office to finalize the music and other stuff. Reached home at 1130pm, showered and slept at 12am. Woke up at 3 to finish script. Left my house at 630am so I could be at the Hotel early but me being the Jonah that I am, was stuck in a jam at 630am mind you. I finally reached the hotel at 730am when it's actually only 15 minutes away. F**k. Anyway was finalizaing everything cos there were more changes. I was nervous as hell. R called to wish me luck, all the while I kept saying I was so nervous i felt like puking. His encouragement was to remember that they were only human. My colleague R gave me shoulder rubs to ease the tension. So i finally started and R gave me the nod and thumbs up. I relaxed and the event went on well enough. Could have been better but I did get compliments so i felt it was not too bad. A few of us went to Bangkok Jazz after the event for drinks. I had 2 (the least in the group). That night when I went home I crashed and burned. Totally! R called to find out how the event went. He wanted to meet up but I was so bummed i was barely audible over the fone. Just slept and slept and slept. Woke up early the next day (I told my boss that I was taking leave that Friday to recover and she was ok with it, she encouraged it even) with a splitting headache. That was the start of it. Still I had to squeeze in time to finish a proposal for some client. That night was also the night my best friend J was coming home from Singapore after a week. Her birthday was on the 2nd and unfortunately the poor dear was away. Her sweetheart of a boyfriend was cooking her dinner (prawn sambal yummy). I slept the whole day wishing the headache would disappear. It did get better for a while so I decided to finish the proposal. Then it hit me again, oh...the nausea and my sweaty clammy palms....I went anyway. The food was good, they wanted to go to Waikikis, L was very persuasive and i don't know how to say no. So we went for a while. At least Y and I were there for a while. L,J and B stayed on. Went home and slept. And it was downhill from there. The flu, fever, sore throat, asthma attacks, and the worst - the cough. I'm still not fully recovered but I'm so much better now. Was stoned most of the time thanks to the medication I was on. Still.....it didn't come close to the real deal so no comfort there. In fact it left me feeling really dehydrated that I felt I was gonna spontaneously combust at any time. There was a time when my fever was so high that I slept with a cold compress on my forehead and a wet towel around my neck. But that also aggravated the cough, which rose from deep within my lungs, struggling to be released from the walls of mucus which lined my whole respiratory system.

There were windows where i did get better and thought I was recovering and so I went back to the office but it only became worse. My boss looked at me and told me to take complete rest before I thought about getting back to the office. I seriously looked as if i crawled out of the grave. So i took the opportunity to sleep and read. I have offically run out of books to read, and I can't find anything interesting at the bookshops. Y, any suggestions? I really liked the one by Hanif Kureishi that we picked up - I could see why you loved that book, it was so you - sick and totally twisted 8-S. Couldn't find his other book though.

So I'm back at the office now, it's good to be back, lots of things to keep me busy. So long then.....

The men behind your fav tipples....

2009-03-31T12:08:00.014+08:00

This totally caught my attention and i just HAD to share it with you ;)

It’s hard to walk down the aisle of a liquor store without running across a bottle bearing someone’s name. We put them in our cocktails, but how well do we know them? Here’s some biographical detail on the men behind your favorite tipples.

1. Captain Morgan

The Captain wasn’t always just the choice of sorority girls looking to blend spiced rum with Diet Coke; in the 17th century he was a feared privateer. Not only did the Welsh pirate marry his own cousin, he ran risky missions for the governor of Jamaica, including capturing some Spanish prisoners in Cuba and sacking Port-au-Prince in Haiti. He then plundered the Cuban coast before holding for ransom the entire city of Portobelo, Panama. He later looted and burned Panama City, but his pillaging career came to an end when Spain and England signed a peace treaty in 1671. Instead of getting in trouble for his high-seas antics, Morgan received knighthood and became the lieutenant governor of Jamaica.

2. Johnnie Walker
Walker, the name behind the world’s most popular brand of Scotch whisky, was born in 1805 in Ayrshire, Scotland. When his father died in 1819, Johnnie inherited a trust of a little over 400 pounds, which the trustees invested in a grocery store. Walker grew to become a very successful grocer in the town of Kilmarnock and even sold a whisky, Walker’s Kilmarnock Whisky. Johnnie’s son Alexander was the one who actually turned the family into famous whisky men, though. Alexander had spent time in Glasgow learning how to blend teas, but he eventually returned to Kilmarnock to take over the grocery from his father. Alexander turned his blending expertise to whisky, and came up with “Old Highland Whisky,” which later became Johnnie Walker Black Label.

3. Jack Daniel

Jasper Newton “Jack” Daniel of Tennessee whiskey fame was the descendant of Welsh settlers who came to the United States in the early 19th century. He was born in 1846 or 1850 and was one of 13 children. By 1866 he was distilling whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Unfortunately for the distiller, he had a bit of a temper. One morning in 1911 Daniel showed up for work early and couldn’t get his safe open. He flew off the handle and kicked the offending strongbox. The kick was so ferocious that Daniel injured his toe, which then became infected. The infection soon became the blood poisoning that killed the whiskey mogul.Curious about why your bottle of J.D. also has Lem Motlow listed as the distillery’s proprietor? Daniel’s own busy life of distilling and safe-kicking kept him from ever finding a wife and siring an heir, so in 1907 he gave the distillery to his beloved nephew Lem Motlow, who had come to work for him as a bookkeeper.

4. Jose Cuervo

In 1758, Jose Antonio de Cuervo received a land grant from the King of Spain to start an agave farm in the Jalisco region of Mexico. Jose used his agave plants to make mescal, a popular Mexican liquor. In 1795, King Carlos IV gave the land grant to Cuervo’s descendant Jose Maria Guadalupe de Cuervo. Carlos IV also granted the Cuervo family the first license to commercially make tequila, so they built a larger factory on the existing land. The family started packaging their wares in individual bottles in 1880, and in 1900 the booze started going by the brand name Jose Cuervo. The brand is still under the leadership of the original Jose Cuervo’s family; current boss Juan-Domingo Beckmann is the sixth generation of Cuervo ancestors to run the company.

5. Jim Beam

Jim Beam, the namesake of the world’s best-selling bourbon whiskey, didn’t actually start the distillery that now bears his name. His great-grandfather Jacob Beam opened the distillery in 1788 and started selling his first barrels of whiskey in 1795. In those days, the whiskey went by the less-catchy moniker of “Old Tub.” Jacob Beam handed down the distillery to his son David Beam, who in turn passed it along to his son David M. Beam, who eventually handed the operation off to his son, Colonel James Beauregard Beam, in 1894. Although he was only 30 years old when he took over the family business, Jim Beam ran the distillery until Prohibition shut him down. Following repeal in 1933, Jim quickly built a distillery and began resurrecting the Old Tub brand, but he also added something new to the company’s portfolio: a bourbon simply called Jim Beam.

6. Tanqueray

When he was a young boy, Charles Tanqueray’s path through life seemed pretty clear. He was the product of three straight generations of Bedfordshire clergymen, so it must have seemed natural to assume that he would take up the cloth himself. Wrong. Instead, he started distilling gin in 1830 in a little plant in London’s Bloomsbury district. By 1847, he was shipping his gin to colonies around the British Empire, where many plantation owners and troops had developed a taste for Tanqueray and tonic.

7. Campari

Gaspare Campari found his calling quickly. By the time he was 14, he had risen to become a master drink mixer in Turin, and in this capacity he started dabbling with a recipe for an aperitif. When he eventually settled on the perfect mixture, his concoction had over 60 ingredients. In 1860, he founded Gruppo Campari to make his trademark bitters in Milan. Like Colonel Sanders’ spice blend, the recipe for Campari is a closely guarded secret supposedly known by only the acting Gruppo Campari chairman, who works with a tiny group of employees to make the concentrate with which alcohol and water are infused to get Campari. The drink is still made from Gaspare Campari’s recipe, though, which includes quinine, orange peel, rhubarb, and countless other flavorings.

Adopted from mental_floss blog

Soulmates....

2009-03-18T17:35:00.003+08:00

Have you ever considered someone your soulmate? This is usually something the fairer sex will be able to relate to. How many have said that they've found their soulmate in their first boyfriends? hehehe, oh the young and naive. I've never said anyone was my soulmate till now. That's why I truly believe I have found it!

What is a soulmate? How do you know if that person is your soulmate? Is there a set of criteria that defines one to be your soulmate? I don't know! All I know is, I have found mine! How do I know (s)he is my soulmate? I think it's like when you find 'THE ONE' (disclaimer:I have yet to find 'THE ONE' though). 'THE ONE' would prolly be someone you wanted to spend your whole life with, till death do you part, the moment your eyes met you knew and s*it like that. The idealist in me agrees that its IDEEEEEAL....that 'THE ONE' is also your soulmate but in this instance its not!

There's a connection you both feel that transcends the ordinary. It's like you are connected at a different level. The bond and chemistry is simply unbelievable. It may sound like cr*p and I used to think that it was cr*p until I admitted to my proud self that - I have found my soulmate! What makes me so sure that (s)he is my soulmate? They don't have to know the color of my eyes or what size shoes I wear. It's beyond that. Do you know how it is when a person calls your name and you know what they are going to say next? Or exchanging glances and immediately know what the other person is thinking? Or when you think of them and immediately they call; cos they were just thinking of you? Or sitting in silence and not feel like there's a need to say anything to fill the silence? Or actually feel the other person's pain, happiness, anger, frustrations? From the moment you met, you knew, you just knew that there was something unexplainable (which may have initially been confused with falling in 'lau'). You can totally be yourself with that person and vice versa. You were never friends, it started off as "more than friends"!

It is a wonderful feeling. It's better than being in love. Really. There's no preconceived expectations, you don't need to fulfill any expectations or be disappointed cos your own expectations were not met. It's just truly open and accepting of each other. The good, the bad, all rolled into one. And you also know for a fact that no one can come in between the 2 of you, not even 'THE ONE' (if it's not the same person). Space and time does absolutely nothing to the relationship. You don't have to see each other for years but when you do, you pick up from where you left off just as if it was 2 minutes ago. You can express emotions that you would otherwise not even think about with this person. Gosh I can go on and on and on....but I will stop now. To my soulmate, (who does not have access to my blog - (s)he doesn't need it) here's to you!!!

Weekend of Mixed Feelings

2009-03-02T18:14:00.020+08:00

Before I start telling you about my weekend, let me give you a summary of last week. It was fcuked up! I think I reached burnout point. I looked as terrible as I felt. Jokes aside it really was a horrible week. I was working on 3 different things with the same deadlines. Just working on them would have been fine, this was ultimate torture because every time I submitted something, these fcukers would come back with more requests/changes/additions/amendments etc etc..then I would have to work on it again. I did not talk to anyone if it was not related to work, I smiled – forcibly, tried to look like really attentive but I was a million miles away and looked spaced out. Felt so depressed, dun know why – was like on the verge of breaking into tears all the while. It was weird, felt sad the whole week. Just sad and depressed. I thought I was doing fine at work, thought nobody would notice but it was all in vain. Many of my colleagues asked me if I was ok. And I hated that, I hated that the way I felt was so obvious to everyone. Usually only those who are close to me may be able to tell if I’m ok or not. This was freaky….But Sb suggested that I go for a massage. It was actually something I was meaning to do but never got around to doing. So we went to my fav massage parlour in Bangsar – I used to be one of those who couldn’t stand the idea of a stranger touching me. I’m a true believer of personal space, that’s why I hate standing in crowded trains and buses and the likes cos of invasion of my personal space. But, I digress……we went to the massage parlour and 5 mins into the massage I was feeling on top of the world. Touch my body! It was heavenly. There was an immediate transformation. I felt so light-headed and nimble, my blood was rushing through my veins vigourously.

You see, apart from feeling depressed for no reason at all, there was also something that was bugging me. One of my best frens, S just had a miscarriage. She texted me and Y on Thurs telling us that she din tell us she was pregnant cos it was too early in the pregnancy and all the pantang (taboo) and what-not’s. She was going for a D&C (dilation & curettage) or a.k.a. D&E (dilation & evacuation). (I now know what it means.) I was so sad. Just the week before, I heard that another friend in Penang (P) who just got married last November also had a miscarriage. It is I think the most devastating piece of news that a woman can receive.

After I received the text message, I immediately called her, not knowing what to say. She was sniffling at the other end of the line. I felt so sorry and sad (was in tears myself as usual), just felt like giving her a hug. Actions speak louder than words and this was one of those moments where this rang true. I tried to comfort her but all I could say was “Babe, I don’t know what to say” and she was like “I don’t know what to say either.” So I told her I’d call her later. Tried calling Y after that but he din pick up.

He called me later when he stepped out of the meeting and was equally stunned by the news. Our conversation: (or something along these lines)

Y: Eh, howlah K. I just got the message.

Me: Yalah, that's why I called you. I called her and she was upset.

Y: I dunno what to saylah.

Me: I also din know what to say. I mean what can you say in situations like thislah kan?

Y: Yalah, I hate it when people say 'Oh be strong, everything will be ok.' It's so corny.

Me: [Blushing] Err....I kinda told her that. I know it's so cliche but i really din know what to say.

Y: It's ok if we tell some random stranger or acquaintancelah but we know her so well.

Me: Yeah. I just told her 'I'll call her later'. So what time are we going to see her tomorrow? [It was a statement rather than a request - when you know someone long enough it makes sense to drop everything and go]

Y: Anytime.

Me: Oklah I'll try to leave work early so we can beat the jam and head over. She'd prolly be staying at her Mom's place.

Y: Ok,ok. We can go to TGIF and celebrate.

Me: WHAT??!!?? Celebrate? Y, our friend just had a miscarriagelah, you nak celebrate?

Y: No, I mean we go out to TGIF and we be sad together?

Me: She's not suppose to be moving around.

Y: Oh yalah. I don't know what to tell herlah.

Me: I think you should just text her. Don't go saying things like "let's celebrate" please hehehe

Y: Ok, ok hehehe

So there my dear friends is what's in a man's mind. =)

We go see her and spend some time with her. As usual we were talking and bitching about others. Oh yeah, Y had a funny moment with the Pak Guard at S's place. hehehe. He was screaming at the guard like he was deaf or something. And Y was "so sweet" he bought his own food and drinks to take to S's place. (We went empty-handed mind you save for the chipsmore and 100plus).

After that we drove to Mines to catch a movie, but the entrance to the carpark was already jammed up so we took a detour to Balakong Jaya Jusco. Apparently it was this new happening place (according to Y). It was also crowded so I suggested Solaris at Mont Kiara. It was a quiet yet happening spot. Y and I decided to indulge at Saffron which looked fancy. He ordered the Arabic mixed grill platter and I wanted to try their Paella. When our food arrived, we were shocked! It was Nasi Goreng Seafood (Seafood "Flyd Lice") and Nasi Beriyani! WTF? And it cost us a bomb! Then Y and I walked around the whole of Solaris trying to find a nice quiet spot to chill. We walked pass this joint called Solaris Club where a sad rendition of Mariah Carey's "Without you" was heard (or so we thought). We finally gave up and decide to go to Souled Out at Hartamas. As we walk pass this Solaris Club, we glanced inside and mother, it was a 2 piece band! The horrible rendition of songs were from them. Y and I immediately decided that there was where we were going to hang out. So we boldly walk into the club. We were the only non-Chinese there but we din give a flying fcuk! We ordered our drinks (they had a pretty limited menu) and "enjoyed" the not so sultry voices of the 2 who at that time were belting out Man Bai's "Kau Ilhamku". It was the worst rendition of that song ever! I swear!!!

We laughed and swayed with the music while the others sat in stony silence just drinking and getting frisky with the double-hatted waitresses (waitress cum ermm....go figure). Then we called it a morning and left.

Y and I met up again on Sunday. We had a blast at The Curve. Shopping kat IKEA, jalan-jalan and makan. I bought this really cute bookshelf and 5+1books. 5+1 cos the one i gave to Y. All this stuff and I only spent RM15. Hah? Yes, that's right, RM15. I used up my vouchers from last year's recognition award. It was going to expire and what better way to spend it than with good friends. Sweet Y helped carry the 22kg bookshelf 5 floors up to my house. Danke Y.

We stopped at Alexis in Bangsar for their too-die-for Tiramisu. I swear it is extravagant and sinful and oh so orgasmic.

The sinful Tira-miss-u. (And the ciggies to compare for size)

Then we drove home in the heavy rain. So all in all, it was both a good weekend tinged with sadness.

I love both you guys! Muacks!!!

Vals...

2009-02-17T17:29:00.006+08:00

Life's been good to me. I had an excellent Christmas and New Year. Got rid of the 3 scum bags who were destroying my life (all 3 came back mind you! and 2 got chucked again) have become closer to my sisters and family. Work's been good too. Hard to imagine that, since I'm always ranting about it =) But it really has been good. I've been swamped and stressed, but this is good stress, I like the challenging stuff that I'm presented with, it keeps me on my toes and my mind's alert. The only downside of this is that I'm exhausted after work and during the weekends. And so i choose to stay home. In fact had to bail out on a few meetings with friends. I'm sure they are pissed with me but I just can't do too much. Heck I don't even like to go for drinks after work anymore. It seems like such a hassle nowadays.
Valentine's Day was pretty good this year, for my standardslah. I've grown out of it I think. I used to be one of those people who wished the whole world on this day and had to celebrate it. But I think it's too commercialized nowadays. You don't need one day in a year to express how much you 'lau' someone. They should know you love them throughout the year. My previous blog entry - "I can see clearly now!!" says it all. Maybe i'm just not too cynical this year. Gawd! Am I actually growing up..sob* sob*. So anyways, my colleagues (who are also my friends) gather at D's place to celebrate the eve of Val's day. Composition of total population - 2 in a serious relationship (both long-distance), 3 singles, 1 divorcee. All women! We met up at D's place and ordered some food from the cafeteria at her condo. I tell you, the assam fish was to die for. We had that during S's bday and I so had a craving for it this time around also. The sauce was just right, spicy (even for me) and not sweet but with a slight zing to it.

The infamous assam fish

Slurp! i'm salivating just thinking of it. Then we ordered other local dishes to complement the assam fish but I tell you, that dish, was in the limelight. So after dinner, Sb & MP show up, late as usual - real yindian timinglah. By this time we had already started on the drinks.

We watched the first movie - The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons. I had already seen this movie but recommended it for the others. I know, I know, it starts of quite interestingly enough then drags....and drags....and drags....but then it comes to a point where it moves along nicely. Just before that part, SC,S and Sb left. Impatient! Anyway after wiping tears from our eyes, at around 1.30am, we started on the 2nd movie - P.S. I 'lau' you. I hadn't seen this one but they said it was pretty good. I cried from start till end. I know, I'm such a wuss. But I have become a bit of a softie lately, just trying to get in touch with my feminine sidelah. The movie finished at 4 something. D & I went to send PM and MP home and we stopped by at 7E for my ciggies and Magnum ice-cream. We came home and she continued online dating with her other half (she was doing that the whole day) talk about multi-tasking hehehe. I finally crashed at 6.30am.

Speaking of D, she is the main recipient of flowers in our office. Almost every week or fortnight, she receives a bouquet of flowers. Each time the flowers are of different variety and sizes. It's so sweet. And mind you, her other half - Mr. T is miles away in another continent and yet he sends her flowers so often. No excuses for you guys here!! I know he sends them to her cause he always calls me to check if the flowers have arrived and what was her expression. HE is such a sweetheart. Too sweet for my liking but such a darling. Anyways, he called me a few days in advance to let me in on the secret, he was sending her 2 bouquets - 1 on Val's day to her house and another on Monday (16th). One of it was a 100 rose bouquet. Altogether now..awwww..........So on Friday, she gets a bouquet - no surprise there. But she was not in the office yet, so I sent him a text message telling him that the bouquet arrived (I thought he changed his mind about sending it on the 16th, and i thought the 100 rose bouquet was going to be sent to her home). It was a small bouquet of tulips. No reply from him. Hmm...strange. Then D walks in the office. She was on the phone (with him of course). When her call ends, she comes to my workstation and says " babe, the freaking flowers were not from him, he's so pissed now." I was like shit, shit, shit! Did I mess it up? I told her I told him but she said before that she already asked him if he sent flowers cos the receptionist told her. Phew! So it was not my fault. But I felt bad nevertheless. Then in the afternoon another bouquet arrives - it's from the same guy not Mr. T. So every one goes like "ooohh, aaahh, so sweet, oh gosh he must be spending so much on flowers alone, ladi ladi da" only S and i know the truth but we play along of course. We begged D not to tell him considering he was so upset. He wanted to take a flight back after she got her first bouquet. I told her if she told him about the 2nd bouquet he would definitely take a flight back and he'd be worried sick. He a bit emo-lah but that's his only flaw. She din want to lie to him, but we told her it's not lying, it's preventing him from getting hurt and doing something silly. And since she had already told him about the first bouquet, it was not lying. The poor guy would be suicidal if he knew about the other 2.

The 3rd bouquet - Lillies, my favourite flower

The 2nd bouquet - The roses

The 1st bouquet - The tulips

So we told her to keep it quiet. Next day, we woke up late and lazed, chatting away. We watched Sweet November, aww.....it was quite sweet. Then at about 5pm I finally decided to go home. Was meeting J and Y for drinks later. Was quite lazy but dared not FFK again. But on the way home J sends me a text asking to postpone the meeting. So went home and lazed, watched tv. Was too lazy to do any work. At 10pm K (one of the scum bags) calls and says he's at Rum Jungle, asked me to go. I KNEW why he asked me to go =P. Decided not to waste the precious me-time that I was enjoying. All in all it was a good vals. All in the name of 'lau'

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!!!

2008-11-21T17:46:00.007+08:00

Work is f**ked up big time. It's not so much the work itself but the people I have to deal with. The incompetent dumbo's that I have to manage. F**k! I have a bunch of clients who are so f**ked up this time around. Some background....I was involved actively in a portion of the project and so naturally I was asked to train the client reps so that they could run this the next time around. Sorta like a transfer of knowledge from us to them. Me....being someone who is very low in 'control' according to my Facet5 profile meaning I don't like structures, details, processes and all the nitty gritty that comes with any piece of work took the trouble to ensure smooth delivery of the project as part of my personal development. I had decided last year to pay attention to more of this just to increase efficiency at work and so far I've been doing okay. I have not become too rigid to lose my flexibility but at least it makes working in a team much easier.

So back to the training story...I put all the necessary processes in place, even went to the trouble of being proactive and set things straight BEFORE it was required. Then the client sends in 2 young gals who i was supposed to train. What is the best training to provide newbies, who actually need to learn on-the-job in a very short time? Definitely hands-on, experiential learning with guidance. So, that's what I did...I did all the work for the first 2 days, then on the 3rd day I asked them to tend the calls and guided them on responding to the email queries. On the 4th day, their people requested for more information from them and we had to re-arrange all the data before sending it over to the people at the other end. It was not part of the agreement as we had previously agreed upon a set format for data delivery between my org and theirs. But since these newbies were asked to do it and it was part of the THEIR scope of work, I stayed back to HELP them complete the extra work. Not my work but theirs....

Then, at the end of that week, these girls' manager, surprises us with a visit, or at least surprises my colleagues and I with a surprise visit. Then she interrogated me, questioning my capability and what we were doing. I swallowed my anger and spoke to her as calmly as possible, all the while feeling like I was going to explode with rage at her audacity to question my ability. The whole reason that act pissed me off so much was because HER expectations/misunderstanding of the whole roles and responsibilities of both ends were screwed. BIG time.

Her idea of training was to get her girls to sit and observe everything. That would make sense if they were just gonna learn and not do anything. But the whole idea of knowledge transfer was that the girls would be running the whole thing by THEMSELVES by the 3rd week. So tell me, how much can one learn by sitting and watching other people do the work. And she wanted those girls to run the whole thing independently by the 3rd week. honestly even during the 2nd week i didn't think they were capable enough to handle everything. The turnaround response rate was too slow, they were not following the protocols of the damn project and were procrastinating everything because they were focusing on the minute unimportant details that did not impact the project at all. Idiots! So anyways I explain my part and she seems dissatisfied. So I told her fine, I will do all the work from then on and she seemed to calm down a bit. I was still pissed as hell though. It also doesn't help that my vendors screwed up big time - sent out multiple reminders to those who have completed the feedback. So had to manage the angry customers. Then I have a team member who was giving the rest of us attitude. Jerk just joined us and was pulling his weight. Kissed bosses ass big time but could not put money where his mouth was. Sigh* feel like stabbing them sometimes. But all in the name of sanity and so as to avoid a lawsuit or prison i keep my sanity intact by furiously typing away at the keyboard. Psst...they think I'm so engrossed in my work...heheheh

Interesting thing about life is....

2008-11-19T14:07:00.011+08:00

Have been musing lately over life and what it really means. I only usually think about heavy stuff like this when I'm either drunk or stoned and it kinda surprised my friends hehehe and me when I brought up this topic 'clean'. So what IS life? We all go through this journey with some kind of perception or expectation of it. There is no manual which tells you how to get through it. Some may turn to the holy books - Bible, Koran or The Veda's for some inspiration. Why would someone turn to centuries old references to live out this life? How could anyone living thousands of years ago possibly have any idea what we "modern" humans were going through? And yet the fundamentals of human existence is based on one common thing - survival. Then and now! We are always fighting for survival, our ancestors lived through survival of the fittest. If you were not fit enough to get your own food, you were a goner, if by some disorder of the genes you did not fully evolve physically (or mentally) to survive the cold, you were out. All that's left were the strongest, fittest men and women. We descended from this pool of people, but life for us has evolved oh so conveniently to what it is today in comparison with our ancestors'. That's the Darwinian theory perspective. From a theological perspective, let's use the folks from the Holy Bible (only because I'm familiar with it), they had to survive! I guess to them surviving also meant living. The Israelites who were slaves in Egypt -survived! they went on to becoming one of the greatest people of ancient times. The Egyptians survived the plagues of the Lord. Survival! Coming back to the present - modern times with its sophisticated technology should be offering us convenience; the luxury of not having to hunt for our supper or growing bodily hair (some of us are not too lucky) just to keep ourselves warm. And yet, it is still survival, let's look at the average middle class person. Scenario: Middle class male, with wife and family, living in a metropolitan city. Earning a salary which is just about enough to feed his family of 3. Being part of the rat race - he has but to survive! If he's not good enough, some punk fresh out of college will uproot him from his 15 year job (he had kids late ;)) cos he's not 'with it'. Survival! The change that takes place throughout the different phases of his life. From bachelor to husband - survival!. From husband to husband AND father - survival! From adored father to father who embarrasses his teenage kids - survival! etc. etc. etc. Life goes on. What would happen to Mr. X if he does not move up the corporate ladder amidst the dogs who eat other dogs? He would not survive! Of course I'm looking at one perspective here, it's not that the world would end here but just the fact that you still need to survive! It may not be as dramatic as our ancestors' survival but it's survival nonetheless. What happens to the non-survivors then? Hmm...

Pail vs bucket...

2008-10-08T15:21:00.003+08:00

So here's how the story goes....I had an argument with a certain someone over the meaning of 3 words - pail, bucket, dipper. Which is which? This whole damn thing started off when he was in the bathroom and asked me to get the pail from the other bathroom. So I went and got the pail to which he said -

He: "Nolah K, the pail, pail!"

Moi: " Fuck you this is a pail."

He: "No, the small one you use to bathelah."

Moi: "You mean the dipper?"

He: "Whicheverlah, just bring it, I'm cold, the draft is killing me."

Moi: I laugh till I can't breathe as I hand him the dipper.

I tried to educate him on the difference between the pail and dipper. He malu cos he always tends to act like a smart alec with me. Then I dropped the subject. A few days ago, he happened to mention the word 'pail' again - (refering to the dipper) as he was complaining about his filthy housemate. So I corrected him,

He: "The fucker is so filthy K that I can't bear to go near his room. The other day I saw the "pail" was filled with dirty water in the bathroom...

Moi: "You mean dipper? And thang God we don't have to use that bathroom anymore."

He: "Uhm..mmm..."

And the subject was dropped again.

The next day, Mr. Tak-puas-hati sends me an sms -

He:"Definitions from dictionary.com...pail is a water-tight cylindrical vessel open at the top and filled with a handle...dipper is a cuplike container with a long handle...so the moral of the story is I've only used a pail and not a cuplike container...hahahaha"

Moi: "It's arguable, A pail as I know it is more cylindrical than a dipper and is a vessel used to contain water (or anything elselah)."

He: "What rubbish, go to the bathroom and see if there is anything that looks like a cup there?"

Previously he asked me about bucket and I told him that it was the synonym of pail. Both refer to the same thing. He sends me another sms:

He: "A pail is normally used with a bucket....this is the definition of a bucket...a deep cylindrical vessel usually of metal or plastic with a flat bottom and a semicircular bail used for collecting or holding water...u told me this was the pail and the pail is a dipper...hahaha"

Moi: "Oklah, if you want to continue believing you're rite, what can I say..."

He: "Eh you made a mistake just admit itlah, why can't you just admit it?"

I didn't bother to reply after that. Huh! Some people just can't admit defeat.

Then again, arguing over pails and buckets and dippers...I seriously need to make new friends....sigh*

Muay Thai anyone????

2008-09-25T14:21:00.006+08:00

In a crazy spur of the moment moment, I decided to take up Thai kick-boxing or Muay Thai. It was Sl's idea to start up this class (I think). So my usual gang - J, L and moi decided to join. I was interested in kick-boxing way before I even started going to the gym but the nearest class was inconvenient for me. This class is in Bangsar, practically down the road so it was good for me. The 1st class was last Tuesday. The instructor walks in and we look in awe. It's this tiny guy with a tight, tight, tight body. Damn! Plus he had a nice ass! hehehe The first class was torturous. It was more strenuous than my gym sessions. By the end of the class we were all shaking with fatigue and exhaustion. Then we get news that a friend's father passed away in Penang. So J, L and R had to leave. I met D & Sb at Devi's. They were laughing at my fatigue...sheesh. With frens like them, no one needs enemies. =) Took 3 days for the muscle ache to subside. But it was good. I like muscle soreness, it feels good and bad at the same time.

Second class was fun! We had a blast punching and kicking. We really enjoyed that one. Thought that this week, the muscle soreness would not be too bad, but no.....it hurt like hell the next day. Went for a massage cos I was struggling to walk without feeling pain. The massage was really painful as well. This Balinese masseuse (did i spell this correctly? - oh f**k it) kneaded and pinpointed the sore points. I was in real pain. After the torture, I felt pretty ok. Slept like a baby that night. Sigh* Why do people put themselves through this kind of torture? =) But, I'm all excited about next week's class.....haiiiiiiiii yaaaaaakkkkk!!!!!

Can't wait for buka pusa with S & Y tomorrow....Yay!!!

Me & U...

2008-09-11T14:42:00.004+08:00

Met up with my cousin R yesterday. She and I grew up together. Even as kids we stuck to each other. She's a year older to me and I used to look up to her. We have an unexplainable bond, something like what sisters would share. But for a long time, both of us did not have sisters and so we were drawn to each other. We used to fight like hell also, both she and my brother would gang up on me. But her mum used to take my side. We fought, squabbled, cried and laughed together. We use to have these crazy dreams and plans of what we would like to do when we grew up. Some of our fantasies were so crazy, we still laugh about it. We planned that we would go to college together and stay together and work at the same place. hahaha. Dreams of the innocent! We obviously did not think we'd meet other people along the way. It was always just the 2 of us. After a while, when I moved to the East Coast, we kinda drifted apart. But it was not a rift that could not be patched. Whenever we met up it was as if we were not separated at all. There was no awkwardness which you usually feel when you don't meet someone for a while.
Anyway. We had a great time last night. We went for dinner, then went back to her place. WE were up for most of the night, talking and talking and talking, trying out outfits and stuff. sigh* missed the good ol' days. Missed her company a lot. It was all too familiar and comforting. Maybe that was just what I needed....

In good times and in bad!

2008-09-10T10:51:00.002+08:00

A close friend of mine is going through a divorce right now. S is a beautiful, intelligent person with a great personality. And yet, her husband has issues with her and decides to walk out. They knew each other since they were 12. They were together for 4 years. They were married for 2 years. 2 years! Why? It's so frustrating that something that should take up the rest of your life (marriage) can only last 2 years. D and I tried helping S realise the issues behind his decision. She blames herself for having security issues. She felt insecure with him. I'd like to think his actions caused her to feel that way. She defends him saying that I can't blame him for the way she feels! I only agree to a certain extent, but his behaviour drives her to feel that way. He's manipulative, sneaky and a flirt. Sigh* he even used to flirt with me and I told him numerous times that he should not be talking that way especially when his wife is my friend.

S on the other hand has good days and bad days. She would still give him a chance if he came back. From an outsider's perspective, "how could she be so stupid to want him back after all he's done to her?" But it's easier said than done. I totally understand how she feels. I myself still have an attachment to a certain bastard! Thang God I have good frens who support me no matter what. D is the reality check, she says it as it, she tells you you're dumb to your face. If I need to cry, J is there to support me. She's always had my back. I don't know how I would survive if I didn't have frens like these. So here's to good frens who are there for better or worse....Luv ya guys.

If tomorrow never comes....

2008-09-08T17:51:00.003+08:00

If tomorrow never comes

Will they know how much I loved them

Did I try in every way to show them every day

That they are mine alone

And if my time on earth were through

And they must face this world without me

Is the love I gave them in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes

Feeling a little melancholic these few days.....and this song kinda touched me. Of course I changed the lyrics a bit....

Road to NAM...

2008-06-20T17:46:00.021+08:00

Last month we had an office offsite meeting in Hanoi, Vietnam. So a couple of us decided to go a few days earlier and check out the place. We left on a Friday morning, the flight was pretty uneventful except that the flight attendant who was making the announcements sounded like she was working something in her mouth ;) if you know what i mean.

Day 1

Took us some time to get clearance to enter the country. There was a cab waiting for us to take us to our hotel. The journey from the airport was quite amusing. It kinda provided us with a taste of what was to come. I tried desperately to make conversation with the cabbie (a 27 year old small sized dude).

Me: What's your name?

Cabbie: Ah....Tam

Me: Oh Tam. I know someone called Tam too. *smiles*

Tam: Yes, yes. You...*point at me* how many old?

Me: Oh, i 25 years old. You?

Tam: Me. 2, 7.

Me: 27? Oh ok. you young ah. *smiles*
Silence.....

Me: So Tam, in Hanoi, what place nice to see?

SS: Good luck with that...hehehe

Me: Tam, what place nice to see in Hanoi?

Tam: Yes, Hanoi very nice place....

Me:Yes, which place, what name?

Tam: Yes, yes very nice, very nice....

SS: wahahahaha

Tam: hahaha
Me: *sulks* then *laugh*

That was my conversation with the guy.....

The Lake

Anyways we wanted to make the most of our trip so we decided to start the touring straight away. Got geared up with my backpack, essentials and comfy clothes. The weather was quite humid so it wasn't too comfortable to be walking around in jeans. We were starving so decided to grab lunch first. Checked with the hotel staff whose names were River and Spring (River's wife) i know, i know kinda makes you giggle eh. but they were nice people and i'm sure they were doing us a favor by coming up with easy to pronounce nicknames.... anyways SS and I walked around looking for food. We looked around and saw this little corner shop which apparently sold noodles (Pho-pronounced Fur (silent 'r'). when i say little i mean little ok. the chairs and tables were so cute. reminded me of kindie chairs.

The baby chairs and tables......

Anyways we wolfed down a hot bowl of rice porridge and steaming chicken noodles between the both of us. It wasn't too different from our local 'kuey teow sup' but the broth was the one which made the difference. The soup was both sour and salty and tasted so good with the chilli paste. We also ordered Vietnamese spring rolls which were crunchy and yummy and a bit sourish as well. With a full stomach we began our journey. First we took a walk around the lake just to familiarise ourselves with the surroundings. the lake was pretty crowded, there were people all around, families, kids and couples. Then SS and I saw a few couples making out in public. SS said it must be due to the French influence in the country. I was like whoa! felt a bit jakunlah. There were girls sitting on the guys laps, hugging and lots of lip-locking. all in broad daylight in front of so many others. im not saying its wrong, i just could not imagine seeing something like that back home. oh well...each to its own.

After walking around the lake, which was a pretty big lake, we headed back to the Hotel and just in time cos the weather suddenly changed. One minute it was blistering hot and the next brought strong winds, the sky turned dark and it began to drizzle...heavily. We sought refuge from the wind and rain in this little French Ice-cream parlour about 5 shops away from the Hotel entrance. Get this, the name of the Ice-cream parlour...Fanny. Yes, Fanny! SS and I had a laugh but we had to admit the ice-cream was good.

The walking made us tired and it was already quite dark. Hanoi was an hour ahead so it got dark quickly. We remembered seeing a foot massage sign next to our Hotel and we decided to check it out. It cost us USD 7 per person, SS brought it down to USD 5. Yes, you could bargain the price for almost anything here. I was so glad we decided to go for that massage. It was splendid! Felt so good after that, it was a well spent hour.

Waited for D and E (who were staying at another hotel) to have dinner. Since it was still raining, we decided against street food and ate at Little Hanoi. We had sandwiches for dinner. we were a bit disappointed cos we wanted to go all out on local food and the restaurant didn't have any local dishes. The sandwiches were ok, no different from what you could find back home. The baguette was a bit hard and big so I asked the waiter to cut mine in half. My conversation with waiter:

Me: Excuse me, can cut my sandwich in half please *with actions*

Waiter: *Looks at me, picks up butter knife and jabs the air in front of my face while saying* You cut, you cut!

Me: No, you take back there and cut for me.

Waiter: *Continues jabbing air in front of my face* No! you cut, you cut. and he turns and walks away.

WTF?

Momentary silence at the table before the rest laugh so hard, they almost fall off the chair. Basket! I asked another waiter (who did not witness the commotion) to do it for me. After dinner, we took a stroll through the night market and headed back to The Ritz. We tried drinking but were too tired to enjoy.

Day 2

Woke up quite early to start with the sight seeing. S and I decided to walk over to where D & E were staying cos apparently it was quite near. We got lost! cos we missed one turning. Damn! we took a trishaw along the way and felt real pity for the guy whose leg muscles had to work overtime. S & I being quite bootylicious squeezed ourselves into the small seat of the trishaw. Intially we bargained the price with him and he agreed, but wen we reached our destination we felt so bad for the poor dude that we decided to pay him the initial price hehehe. The Vietnamese gals are so small sized that we saw clothes on standard sized mannequins could not be zipped or fastened. We stayed clear of those shops.

After finally reaching their hotel, we had lunch by the roadside.....a mega feast which was quite affordable....check out the pics.

Literally by the roadside

Almost done!

After lunch we walked to the Prison Museum. We were busy camera-whoring as usual.

After that depressing journey, we headed for the Temple of Literature and Fine Arts.

From the outside

It was quite a walk to the Temple but it gave us the opportunity to really 'feel' Hanoi.

Entering the main courtyard

Another courtyard

Apparently the Temple used to be a University for scholars and was even visited by Confucious himself. It was quite interestinglah. We saw the attire of the scholars then. It's quite sad that a country once so rich with knowledge was almost wiped out and left with barely anything. But i guess, the country survived and has been able to sustain itself. Just the basic human survival instinct.

After that we took a cab back to The Ritz for some shopping around the area. We bought stuff and was later joined by some of our other colleagues who decided to hang out with us cos we were there a day earlier. We had dinner at some fancy restaurant cos our boss was among the folks who wanted to hang out with us. So we did and headed back to the Ritz to pick up our things. S and I were checking into the Melia. D & E joined us later for drinks in our room. We laughed so much that night. Lots of nonsense.

Some other colleagues headed to the night market that night but the excitement was pretty short-lived. One of them was robbed of her passport and purse. Apparently someone slit her handbag and took out a pouch which contained the aforementioned items. So S as HR manager had to take her the next day to get her things sorted out.

Day 3

I wake up to an sms from a senior colleague who wanted to discuss some slides i was to present during the meeting. I had plans to meet with D & E to visit Uncle Ho. So I told my colleague that I would see him later. Took a cab to their hotel and crashed their buffet breakie. On a full stomach we headed over to visit The Mausoleum.

Here lies Uncle Ho Chi Minh

The line was miles long. It was a moving line though so it didn't really seem as if it was ages. We just walked slowly and passed the different check points where they first took your camera and some were asked to hand over their phones. We were in line for about half an hour and it took us half a second to circle Mr. Ho.

Don't know if it was worth it or not. Then we just jalan-jalan around Hanoi, did some shopping and was really bushed by 6pm. The 3 of us visited the Opera House and the Museum. Could only snap pics from the outside of the Opera House cos we needed to pay to go in. The Museum was pretty disappointing. We expected it to be more like the Prison Museum but it was really boring. We went back to the Ritz area although we were staying there and did a bit of shopping. Oh yeah, D & I went for a foot massage. Second time for me. It was as good as I remember it to be.

S met up with us later. We had dinner then headed back to the Hotel to continue drinking. This time E was really pissed. We had a good time laughing at him and he laughing at himself. Hehehe. Went to bed or more like crashed into bed.

The next few days were office related. On the last nite, we had our performance nite. That was an absolute nerve-wrecking incident. Our office was going to do the "dikir barat" and yours truly was the singer...cough*cough*. Was a nervous wreck before the performance. Had to piss like 4 times in an hour. My boss kept encouraging me and saying i was gonna be fine. I wanted to run away and hide in the toilet. But finally as we walked up the stage, I worked the crowd, and all fear flew away. It used to be like this in Uni also, I'd get so nervous and feel like puking, but wen I start, there's no end to it. Even wen I had to speak in BM and my spoken BM kinda sucked at that point in time, I would speak with so much confidence it was embarassing! =)

3 days later we left the land of "minimoys" and headed back to reality. Was a good trip, the first 3 days at least. The food sucked on the way back. Again! So we maximised the value of our ticket, by getting sloshed! hehehe. and you know 1 drink in air is equivalent to 3 on ground or something like that. Don't know, don't care! hehehe

Blah! Blah!

2008-05-30T11:41:00.006+08:00

Ok. I'm not going to make any excuses for my absence. Neither am I going to explain....malaslah. Let me just get on with what I have to say. I'm absolutely bored at work. It's not that I don't have anything to do. I have a million and one things to do. I'm just too lazy to get it done. You know how older people tend to long for their retirement age.....a time when they have time for themselves and they get to do ALL the things they wanted to do before, but could not due to work engagements. But when they finally retire they bore themselves to an early death or mental deficiency (Y if you do not change jobs soon, u don't have to wait for retirement for the latter to happen hehe). Well I kinda feel that way now. When I was swamped with work, I wished for a break so that I could do ALL the things I wanted to do but could not. Now that business is a tad slow and I have time to breathe I have become absolutely lazy and bored. You can now see my motivation to start blogging again =) I'm bored. It's going to be almost 2 years since I first joined. And I need a change...it's becoming a little too routine for melah. Most interesting project I'm working on is writing an article for The Edge. Not an easy task.....business writing. It sometimes seems as if i have kinda dug my own grave. Oklah im being dramatic again. but that is the only interesting thing going on here at the moment. Will update more later.....

Cheerz and out!

Returned to Sender...

2008-01-08T15:02:00.000+08:00

I haven't posted anything in a while as usual. But I just had to use the office hours to post this. This is a tribute to a dearly departed friend of mine. She was taken away from us on the 6th of January 2008 at around 5am. She was hit by a speeding car which after hitting her dragged her for about 100m before hitting the brakes. At which juncture she fell off the car and hit her head on the road. That was the COD. My dear friend whom I have known since the age of 11 was a gorgeous, beautiful person. She had a heart made of pure gold and was always quick to lend a hand. One of the most popular girl both in primary and secondary school, SZ never looked down on anyone from a material perspective. Her humbleness won her many hearts and she was never in need of friends. Her parents are the same and it broke my heart to have to see them suffer that much. We shared quite a few ups and downs together. I left my frens, SZ included quite soon wen i moved to another state. But my dear frenz including SZ never let me go. They travelled across states to see me, they kept in touch via phone and letters (before the popularity of emails), cards and pictures. SZ was also very diligent at keeping the friendship alive. My greatest regret is not reciprocating as much. I always found it less hurtful to stay away till the friendship died down than to keep in touch and lose the people i love. That didn't help for although our friendship never died down completely, it never was the same as it was before. YET it still hurt so bad when i received the news. I was at work and did not want to tell anyone at first but just kept running to the washroom to cry. My boss saw my face wen i went for a ciggie break and asked what happened. I told her and she immediately sent me home. I went to a mutual friend's home. A gal whom i know since the age of 12. We comforted each other and went to SZ's house. I could not bring myself to look at her. I wanted to remember her the way she was before, not the way she was that day. I could not even say her 'body' i could not. I never lost a friend like this. Not one who was so close. We all practically grew up together, our parents were friends, we were really like sisters. We never had any qualms about telling each other how we felt. We shared information about our boyfriends, we teased each others boyfriends but we knew we would stand up for each other if it came down to it. We laughed, we cried and today we cry for her. She was always the best dressed among us and yesterday we were laughing thinking about how she was probably looking down at us and cursing her for not dressing up to come see her. =) But knowing her, it wouldn't have mattered. She will be missed dearly by all who knew her. Me included. Rest in Peace my dear....and don't you be raising hell in heaven!

SZ's passing on has taught me one thing, a few things actually. Life is too short to be taken for granted. We need to appreciate the people we love; family and friends and not leave enemies behind. Do at least one good deed a day. Forgive your enemies, heck love them if you can. It will only irritate them further. =)

Love ya SZ....

Shopping...

2007-12-18T14:44:00.002+08:00

9 Dec 2007 (Sunday)

Met up with my uni besties for lunch at Chilli's @ BSC. As usual we had fun. To quote lucillus 'We were carnivores'! Let the pics speak for themselves.

Before...the gorgeous presentation...

During....yummy...

After....burp*

And a nice cold Corona to wash it all down....

After that we were like pythons just waiting to curl up and hibernate. But we decided to burn off some of the calories and take a walk around BSC. I also needed to get pressies for so many peeps. So decided that this would be a good time. Nothing much in BSC that I could purchase...too expensivelah and nothing interesting. Was so tempted to buy myself this Spongebob Squarepants square tin which costs RM75. But i decided not to, this time. In the end I got my cousin a body shop gift set. Oh yah lucillus has a new car, so S and i got him to drive us around instead. Cool car, something I wanted to get myself but meant i would have to give up my current lifestyle. I'll stick with my baby for now thank you.
After walking around a bit we decided to go to The Curve. Lucillus and I got some 'skin food'. Then we headed to the bazaar/flea market. I saw a pair of shoes and fell in love with them. Immediately bought them. Sigh* shoooooes. Then S and I bought a pair of tacky sunnies each hehe. Nicole Ritchielah konon. =)

Walked around for a bit then decided to head home. Was a good outing. Excited about my shoes...."Hey i put my new shoes on and everything's gonna be alright...."

Tagged by poopy fren

2007-11-16T17:17:00.000+08:00

Okay...my sick and twisted fren has tagged me. I am not going to enjoy doing this but in the spirit of fellow bloggers and the fact that he could have come up with worse, i will try to be as poopy as he is...BUT i will save the visuals.

Things To Do While in Pooping Mode” by Lucillus The New Age Poop Guru

The Dropped-Down Pants.

This depends on the situationlah. If one is in pants then its a drop down. If you are stuck in one of those toilets which qualify for Ripley's believe it or not (cos of the fact that there are UFO's [unidentified FLOATING objects] surrounding you), then you might want to roll up the legs of your pants to your knees and then do the half sit while holding on to your pants, at the same time praying that you can maintain the balancing act. Sigh* if you're wearing a skirt, then it's not drop down, it's pull up (drop down panties till knee level). With one end under your chin, your forearms will have to hold on to the bunched up material as you again perform the half-sit act. If its in the comfort of your own home then most likely I would be in shorts which saves me the trouble of the darn balancing act.

This is the most disgusting and lame excuse for a toilet.

The Ceiling.

Due the fact that I have to always maintain the balancing act there's no chance of looking up at the ceiling. But i have this thing about looking up at the ceiling anyway or even at the top of the door especially when alone in public toilets. Why? I'm scared of what might be there. I've heard of horror stories where people look up at the gap at the top of the door and see some ghost or pontianak sitting there although I never figured out why such a mobile creature would ACTUALLY choose to be in a stinky poo place when it can be anywhere else it wishes to. So yeah I rarely look up. Even at home, i just look at my feet or the floor. 'Nuf said

The small top window.

This....like i said i don't look up that often to notice things like things. Okay i notice it but it has no impact to me. The best reason i can think of is just for ventilation purposes. Can you imagine being stuck in a toilet with a potpourri of fragrances courtesy of the 100 odd people who just expelled stuff from their guts? Phew! There would be a risk of walking out of the toilet smelling LIKE the toilet. Eeeeewwwww! You would be a walking eau de TOILET! Or it's just to make lives of pervie peeping toms easier.

The low end of the cubicle.

This is the area I am most familliar with. The gap is good for watching if anyone is in the next cubicle. And yes, in the toilets at my work place you sometimes can get a glimpse of your neighbour's foot. So i take extra precaution to make sure my feet are kept in the middle.

There are lots of other things related to toilet manners. You might want to add these to your book Lucillus...

1) Do majority of people wash their hands?

2) Do you flush before you pull up your pants or after?

3) What is the most disgusting act to take place at the sink?

Ms. S and I have some stories of the toilets at Uni. Remember how we used to sneak out of class to the toilets to have a fag? We used to use the disabled-friendly toilet because it was spacious. the best part was how we would stop talking everytime we heard the main door open. Once we thought the cleaners came in to wash the toilets and we kinda freaked out. We thought about the look they would have on their faces if we walked out of the cubicle together. hehehe

So there you go my sick fren. I'm not going to tag anyone else just because very few people have access to my blog.

Luxurious life....

2007-11-13T17:06:00.002+08:00

Last Monday-
I fell sick.

Last Tuesday-

Was stuck in the assessment center feeling like i could die

Last Wednesday-

Took MC. But i went out at night because it was B's birthday and his colleagues were taking him to this new place (for us at least). So J and I tagged along. Unfortunately, we never really made it to the dance floor cos J realised (just as we found a table) that she left her phone in the car (or so we thought). So she and I went back to get it. But, apparently it was lost. That really put her off. I mean all the numbers and pictures were all in the phone. Sigh* so we decided to head home and fetch B later. On the way home, L calls and he's at W. J wanted to see him so we went there. Sl and his frens were there too. We just hung out and laughed and laughed as usual. Sl and L were trying to make J laugh and were seriously making fools out of themselves just so she would laugh. And it worked. So sweetlah they. Anyway we lepaked till it was time to go home. By then it was raining so heavily that half the place was wet and we were getting wet from the sprays. J had this brilliant idea of dancing in the rain but i was sick and no i wouldn't have done it anyway. Not there at least. B joins us as we were about to leave the place.We have supper then head home to J's place.

Last Thursday-

We go for lunch and then hang out at IKEA for a bit. I saw this really cute bedside table which I so want to get. But me being quite thrifty I decided to sleep on the idea for a bit. Head off to J's place and I leave for my aunty's place. Today was the day we were picking the names for our Christmas get-together this year. Every year our family (immediate and extended maternal family) draw names for the gift exchange. This brilliant idea was the brainchild of my aunt who is the world's best event manager. It was beginning to be a financial burden on us due to the ever expanding family of ours. Well I'm exaggerating but for the young un's it is a burden. And not that they mention itlah but since we have started working, it's almost expected that we should get them pressies. So I'm all for this idea of one gift exchange. But by default we all have to get gifts for my nephew, niece and my youngest sister.

So anyways, I'm there and we chill for a bit. Just hanging around doing nothing. My niece is absolutely adorable so I was entertaining her. Then of course the ever famous question of who I'm dating and when I will be getting hitched came up. My ex ex boyfriend's name was brought up of course. I finally let them have it.

Me: "He's got a girlfriend alreadylah..."

Aunty 1: "What? The bloody bugger. Wait till I see him next."

Me: "It's about time actually."

Aunty 2: "Too much ah he?"

Me: [Confused]

Aunty 2: "Never mind girl, I'm praying for you everyday that you will find a nice man who will look after you well."

Me: "Why? You don't want me to remain happy is it?" [giggles]

Aunty 2: "Nolah cannot say like that. You WILL find someone."

Me: sigh* "Not lookinglah...too busy to spend time with myself."

After dinner we left for home.

Last Friday-

Still felt too crappy to go to work so I just rested at home. My mum and sis' went back to my aunty's place. I rested the whole day. So nice, I had the whole house to myself.

Last Saturday-

Went in to the office cos i needed to finish some stuff. My fren R was in town and he won a stay in a 5-star hotel. It was a suite. So four of us - R, J, Jc and moi was spending the nite there. We were a bit like jakuns at firstlah cos' the suite just looked so posh. We began taking pictures as usual. Jc brought 12 big bottles of beer and there we had a bottle of Grant's courtesy of B who finally did not show up. We began drinking early...happy hourlah konon. They went and had a swim. I sat and watched cos it was the time of the month. After that we got ready for dinner and walked across the street to an Indian restaurant cos we felt like having 'Indian'. It almost felt as if we were somewhere else and not in the middle of KL. After dinner we played the drinking game and did some dance routines. We actually had so much fun. Was damn nicelah.

Last Sunday-

Jc and R went for the breakfast while J and I slept in. We woke up after their breakfast and watched 'Knocked up'. Then we got ready to leave the hotel. Sigh* one nite of luxury....the room cost RM 2369 a nite. So it really was almost like a once in a lifetime thing. The most expensive hotel room I have stayed in cost RM 650 and that was for work purposes.

Anyways we said goodbye to our room and headed over to get J's phone. Had lunch and went over to Jc's house. She is going to move to a new place soon. The house was really nice. It was huge and they got it for a good price. After that we went back to J's place and L was there. We got ready and went for dinner. I as usual stayed back. Had A&W for dinner and came back to J's place to watch Russell Peters. L and I were laughing like idiots. hehehe.

So that was the fabulous weekend I had although for most parts I felt quick crappy. My running nose and cough were quite bad.

Today I have a bad toothache. Took some meds from J. Met her for a bit when I went for client meeting.

Got to get back to worklah....Sigh* been staying till very late these few days. Want to head home early today.

The Bedroom where 4 of us bunked in

The fantastic bathroom

The view from our room

Guess whose feet? =)

Till then....ciao the mow

waaaa......im still here

2007-10-18T18:49:00.000+08:00

Nyeh nyeh nyeh.....damn long rite since i posted any crap. Kinda forgot i had a blog. Gone back to putting pen to paper. Still safer and personal. Can't really EXPRESS feelings here without some moron bitching about it. but i guess each one to his own. so short updates. it's after raya, had a great time meeting up with frens. These are my uni besties. We had our traditional buka puasa at the same seafood place, eating the same food (plus crabs this time; which Y usually passes on to his dates hehe) making the same old lame jokes and just about doing everything as always. This time though there was a difference. We are working adults. Working for over a year, 6 mths at a steady job for one and one sustaining A job from a line of 5 jobs. hehehe.

Before....the scrumptious food

After......we were done! After I licked my forearm clean.....=)

We walked around pavillion cos my fren S who is actually a princess born to commoners NEEDED her fix of J.Co doughnuts. Needed them pretty much as a junkie would need his fix. hehehe We waited for about half an hour for those doughnuts which thank the gods in heaven was good. Not much to say about pavillion. all the hype but the dudes that hang out there pretty much look the same as those which loiter outside Kota Raya on public holidays. Yeah u heard me. The dazzle of the place can't override that fact. And the freaking signages in that place. Don't trust the directory at this place, follow your instinct, it'll get you to your destination quicker. We ended up seeking help from this pak guard who was rabun and thanks to Y who didn't fail to mention it to him. What did you say again? "Dah rabun pun nak tolong?" Talk about tactless...all in your waistlah that's why (insider's joke) hehehe. It was a great outing. Can't wait to go out again with them soon. But this week has been pretty hectic and will be hell till January.

Visited my form 6 frens for Raya. It was almost like a reunion. Nothing much had changed i was still the only female among the bunch of dicks cos the rest of the gals were coming later. Left early too. This month quite brokelah. Had to go to the land of the kiasu pandis so bit tightlah. The rest of the holiday saw me chilling at home with a book. Something i haven't done since i started work. The best part was i had the whole house to myself. the rest of the familia were spending two days at my aunt's place. Great holiday but came to work on Tuesday feeling as if i party-ed away the previous nite. it was the onset of my migraine. But after downing a few painkillers i felt much better. The best part about coming to work these few days is the fact that there were fewer cars on the road. It was bliss driving to and from work. Wish it was like that everyday.
What else. Oh yeah i just got told that i will be receiving a bonus after all cos i was unfairly judged (from my 360 feedback) i guess it was my fault for directing my 360 to morons. The more senior managers thought i deserved a bonus and a good raise (for having high potential) and disregarded the feedback thingy. in your face you freaking weirdos! hehehe. so glad. I can finally get that pair of shoes I've been dying for. those who have been reading my blog know that i have been battling with the different mindsets of these weirdos who are so process-driven they won't be able to fart without consulting a manual of some sort. So now it's partly settled. The other big bosses see the potential in me and do not make me feel bad about my areas of development but rather help me appreciate and leverage off my strengths. The Asian culture is the driving factor behind this. You were considered never good enough in school unless you were like those kiasu, ass-kissing nerds. But fuck all that has changed now. i have a new manager who im looking forward to working with. [This is my alter ego speaking] and the gal who i thought was my competition, newsflash, she ain't no competition. will update later......gtg now.

Weekend blast!

2007-08-20T17:13:00.000+08:00

I had a fantastic weekend. It's been a long time since i did so many things over a single weekend. Since i have been stuck running training programs throughout July and August I was always too drained to actually chill. This weekend i decided to let my hair down again and it did wonders (to my soul) hehehe.

So let's see....Friday after work i was initially supposed to meet up with 'J' and 'L'. We were goin shopping . My Uni best fren is getting hitched this weekend and i wanted to get a dress and a pair of shoes. I also made plans with a senior of mine form Uni. We rarely met in Uni but there was this one trip that a few of his friends and mine took wen we were in 2nd year and thats how we became frens. Just recently we started contacting each other again and we decided to meet up on Friday. He works near the training centre. So i met up with him and we chatted and chatted and chatted. We went for dinner and another fren 'Sl' (from previous posts) text messages, inviting me to my favourite hang out place in the whole world (at this point of time).

So i ask 'Jq' if he wanted to come along and he agreed. Well actually i talked him out of ditching his weekly 'pool' game to hang out with us =). J finished work late so there was no time for shopping. We decided to finally meet at 'W'. We chilled to the music which was incidentally great that evening. J and L came a little later. Sl who invited me came 2 hours past schedule. as usual! Jq left soon after Sl and his frens came. I was so happy that day, firstly because i met up with Jq. Secondly i was with my favourite person J, and L was just making me laugh as usual. L's fren also decided to join in the fun that nite. So anyway back to the Sl story. Sl is a great dancer and so is his fren KC. So i usually hang out with these 2. that nite the dancing was really good. not to mention the flirting between Kc and i hehehe. We ended the nite quite late. J, L and his fren left quite early that nite too, so i just hung out with these other 3. We were the last to leave the place as usual. it was good to have laughed so much that day.

Next day i had to take my sister for her tuition class and also pay a visit to my cousin. She gave birth to a healthy baby gal on Friday. We spent quite a bit of time there.

p/s: I'm getting bored with blogging. Let's see, it lasted about 6 months. even during these 6 months i havent been updating properly. let's see how long more it can last. the reason being i have gone back to journal writing. i think i'm more comfortable keeping a journal instead of a blog!

Some funnies...

2007-08-01T17:34:00.000+08:00

These are ads taken from shaadi.com - guys searching for brides..
These are actual ads on a matchmakers site. Grammar and spelling errors apparently have no importance in the profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar
after reading this.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>- Hello To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don't have
>female,If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my home. I am not
>a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u
>welcome to my heart...when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident
>or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Shekhar

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa
>state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other
>homework
>(Homework?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she
>may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the
>entire life can run smoothly. thank you
>(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>she should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have
>one brother and one sister. she should be educated.
>(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I
>love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I
>am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i
>love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on
>..........hold my hand forever !!!
>(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i am simple boy.I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck
>now i am looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot lot
>(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>My wife should
>be as 'Shivani' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as
>Tanwerr as in KSBKBT......
>(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too
>much,ain't he?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house
>but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast
>(by not wearing her jeans? Wat the freak...)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
>LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL
>MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE
>1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY
>SHOULD NOT
>GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
>(all of us are loughing{laughing})

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be
>someone bride and she must think of the future life if she is too like
>this she would be called the woman of the lamp
>(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this boy wants)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i
>love thepatner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok
>(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is
>suffering from
>"Ok-syndrome")

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1
>CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK
>(the "ok syndrome" again)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and
>Father&mother sister complity marred
>(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
>'completely'?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and
>parent. iam doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original
>resdence at kalahandi
>diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.
>(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>my name is muhamad and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes
>pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
>(height of desperation! J )

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she
>havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey.
>IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are
>beautiful.
>but iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that
>Iam a good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
>bye
>bye.
>(uttama purushan)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
>(No comments)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.
>(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i
>divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the good
>minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other
>caste accepted ...
>(but credit cards not
>accepted..???)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service
>(Zebra..???)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lot
>should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.
>(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>to be married on jan-2006. working woman perferable
>(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a
>bride.I wish him best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he
>will get one
>soon.)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure.
>because girl is the maharani.
>(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not
>paying salary at present.
>(Any takers again?)

I rest my case....any wonder they are still not attached??? sigh*

Mother of all IRONIES!

2007-06-29T16:59:00.001+08:00

You know, it's funny how we sometimes misinterpret the meaning of irony. Well, let me give u a perfect example of an ironic situation. In fact this is the MOTHER of all ironies...Lots of other stuff has been goin on in my life but none can compare to what i experienced today. And i'm not being dramatic here. U will be as confused as i am by the time you reach the end of this post. Not confused, confused but more of confusion on how to respond to this situation. So where shall i begin...i came to office as usual today and it seemed like any other day i had to work my ass off though the whole first half of today as we had to deliver on our promise to our clients. well it was actually my PM's promise to the clients. we had 2 days to prepare a whole lot of stuff. the meeting today was at 3pm and we were still printing materials at 245pm, so u can imagine the stress levels at this point of time. i even skipped lunch and left to pee only wen it was almost drippin'..ok im exaggerating but thts how rushed i was. anyways, after the storm, and the two buggers were off to the meeting, i take a breather and decide to go collect my road tax. Now the story of my road tax....i have been driving around for the past 2 months with an expired road tax sticker on my windscreen i managed to drive through a police block drunk and i managed to pass through with a smile. hehehe the advantages of being a female...anyways i decide to go pick up my road tax. i leave for about 10 minutes at most. when i come out, i see a piece of paper wedged between the windscreen adn the wiper. oh-oh its a friggin summon for expired road tax! how ironic is that....blech! i have nothing more to say.....shit like this should only happen on Friday the friggin 13th! Damn!!! Now i have 2 unpaid summonses. fishcake!!! the words of Alanis Morisette kept blaring in my head. Yes blaring, and i swear i could hear chuckles in between the sodding lyrics. blech! isn't it ironic? Don't ya think!

Lazy weekend

2007-06-20T17:05:00.000+08:00

Had a nice lazy weekend last week. Sent my dearie 'J' to the bus stand last Friday. We went for dinner first at our fav mamak hang out. Funny guy 'L' decides to join us there. it was to surprise 'J' actually. I picked up 'P' along the way and we hung out for a while. Saw Cute guy 'A' there, he was with a fren, and i thought it was Cute Guy 'B'. unfortunately it was some other fren. Damn! Met 'J's mom's fren who was helping me get my road tax and car insurance settled. we took a slow drive to the bus stand, we were early so we decided to bug 'P's life for a bit and interrogate her about the love of her life. =) then it was time for 'J' to leave. So i sent 'P' home and left for home. it was kinda outta the way at 2 other ends but it WAS a Friday nite and i had nothing better to do so what the heck. (yeah quite tragic i know). When i reach home, i find my dearest aunties at my place. i make small talk but i am actually very tired so i hit the sack soon enough. The next day i had to wake up really early to send my sis off to college. She was going up north for her practical training. i come home and try to sleep a bit. supposed to meet my Uni best fren for lunch, we have been postponing this for ages. i thought it's about timelah i meet up with her. We had so much fun during our Uni days, the stuff we did...Gosh.... oh yah which reminds me, that i heard news that one of my fav lecturers gave in a 24 hr notice of resignation. i heard this on Monday (18 June) but i digress.... will get back to this issue in a bit. Just as i find my body awakening to face the day, i get a call from Cute Guy A who asks me to join him for a massage. i got this package last week and i know that he likes these stuff so i got him one. i thought what the hecklah. so i went for the foot reflexology while he went for the body massage. it was sooooo good man. it could be all in my head but it felt amazing so who cares. then i meet my fren and we waste 4 hours of precious time. it felt so good just hanging out and not doing anything or rushing anywhere for once. Hehehe i rmbr those uni days wen we used to lepak for up to 6 hours at the mamak restaurant talking crap and ordering ais kosong. hehehe i even got caught once by my lecturer whose class i skipped to hang out with my frens, (who would have thought that Dr. 'apple dumpling' would pay a visit to the same area) there were no repercussions though thang God!. Sigh* good old days.....

'H' is for Happy =P

2007-06-08T17:32:00.000+08:00

Happy...Oh i'm so happy...

Cant believe how happy... (i am)

on my own.....

[to the tune of Akon's Lonely]

I have no idea why Im so happy. I aint complainin tho. Just have no idea where this source of happiness is coming from...woo hoo...im on top of the world. and no...no guy is involved. i guess its the positive vibes i have been absorbing at work. its true u knw, no matter how stressed one is, u should always take the time to have a laugh. Gosh! the euphoria and no im not 'chasing'. just high on life i guess. never felt this good in ages. i have come to terms with myself and all the people who have hurt me and i them. trying to make amends. i have forgiven the 'fren' who went behind my back and stirred the waters between me and my ex. i think that was one of the main things which broke my heart into pieces. i apologised to 'him' (my ex) and it feels so darn good. have another one to apologise to..my dad. waiting for father's day which also happens to be a day before his b'day. so i guess i will pick up the fone, swallow my stupid pride and talk to him. i don't feel angry, bitter, hurt, whatever.... its so good i might even start going back to church soon. hehehe. so i'm not goin to sweat the small stuff...people can do or say what they wantlah. i think nothing can affect me for now...kekeke. 'J' looking forward for our gals nite out tonite....time to chill and pick up some hot guys....CHEERZZZZZZ.........

Karma of a heartbreaker....

2007-05-28T14:37:00.000+08:00

The words of Akon keep goin through my mind these few days (since Friday to be exact)

"Lonely...I'm Mr. Lonely,

I don't have nobody for my own..." etc etc....

Why? Well let's see, the guy i dumped has finally moved on after bugging my life for so many months. i bump into him and the whole gang (who are/were my frens too) at my fav hang out place last friday. at first i saw some unfamilliar faces who were giving me killer stares which i ignored (AT FIRST). then i say hi to a fren, one of my actual frens and she just gives a little wave with her hand.while Sh comes over and gives me a hug. Sh is my ex's fren and she is more warm towards me. so anyways i say hi to everybody else and rejoin my frens at a separate table well away from them. unfortunately they are facing the dance floor and me love to boogy so i go ahead with one of my gf's and hit the floor. 'He' is there with the little skank who was gave me the cock stare earlier. i buat bodoh and continue dancing with my fren. then we head back to my table. my frens wanted to leave cos they were tired, i was too. but Jc asked me to stay back and it din take much to make me stay. then i meet another fren who was there. it so happens that this guy who has the hots for my dear J is also good looking and a good dancer. so we hit the dance floor and i have this idiotic look on my face from trying not to puke watching those 2 slobber each other on the dance floor. (Yes i'm bitter so fuck u!) the 'dancer', lets call him Sl for Salsa is kind enough to play along and try to take the piss out of 'him'. so we dance. and the skank kept looking in our direction. we were overdoing it naturally but i din give a fuck!. it felt so shitty considering i was the one who dumped him and he's actually moved on while i'm fucking single as a dog's tail. ok dat didn't make sense but who gives a shit!. Forgive me if i'm BITTER and sound like a virgin spinster. i can't help it!. You can stop reading now if you want to. so anyways, we dance and dance and i cant help laughing at this dude. he's funny and a real gentleman (just like i keep telling u J). something worth mentioning considering the male species is made up of jerks and assholes all rolled into one. There are only a handful of males who do not conform to the norms and societal mores of being a man. they are the rare, endangered kind. (yes, B u r part of the endangered species). so Sl and i continue dancing with the hopes of making 'him' as irritated as i was. in retrospect it was such a stupid childish thing to do, but wen one's pissed, one does not give a f**king rat's ass! then came the clincher. a slow tune came on

"The nite's are lonely,, the days are so sad, and,

i just keep thinking about the love that we had,

and i'm missing you,

and nobody knows it but me..."

So Sl says, ok this is it. he twirls me round and round as part of the show. if i wasnt so pissed and upset i would be rolling on the floor with laughter. but the pain....gosh was like a stab in the heart. i caught 'him' staring stonily at us for a second and 'he' did not look away wen my eyes met his. blech! it was the most yucky feeling in the world. being the single one! it also doesn't help wen the person u care most about is in a world of his own...sigh* but i guess for all the shitty things i have done....this is 'karma' kicking me in the butt!

'he' leaves soon after with the skank, and i go back to my place....my whole weekend was kinda spoiled. but thank god i was bz, my office work and family commitments kept me somewhat sane.

Purposeful life

2007-05-24T16:21:00.000+08:00

Have you read the book "Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren? Well i received that book as a birthday gift. i actually asked my colleague what she meant wen she gave me that book. hmmmm she must think i have no purpose in life. but i thought what the heck, just have a read and seelah. the author suggests that you read a chapter a day so that u can really take the time to reflect and ponder on your purpose of life. like Duh! so i began with chapter one....u were put here (on the earth) for a reason. hmm....i felt like one of the characters of Heroes. hehehe. okaaayyy......so wht's my purpose. and up until then i had never really thought about it. wt were u meant to do? do u want to leave the earth without anything to your name. if i die today, would i be proud of what i have accomplished so far? hm..i guess not. i just turned 24 last week and i did think of what i had accomplished so far. which is like nothing. i mean im not complaining but there's nothing i have done so far that makes me feel like i've reached a destination or accomplished a goal. i planned my life as a little kid, around 8 or 9 years of age. my aim was to graduate from university. So my life evolved around that goal. when i finally made it to uni, i was like ok...so what do i do now. and honestly i still havent figured it out. i sometimes feel lost and afloat. like i have no destination or aim whatsoever. now i'm still looking for something to work towards but i have no idea. hmm.....its been a year already since i graduated and even during my studying days i used to think of what to work towards. but let's see what and how i come up with something.

Of torn shorts and snorkelling!!

2007-05-22T16:04:00.001+08:00

Where was i? oh yeah so we woke up the next day and made the drive to KT. it was sort of a road trip and it was really cool. im goin to speed through things a little cos i dont think anyone will have the patience to read through the whole thg apart from those who were there.
We made a few pit stops along the way, had breakfast at Hai Peng Coffee Shop and finally arrived at Sutra Beach Resort and it was raining. i cald my fren Y who din answer his fone of course but replied my text message. he's from KT and said he'll try to pop by (yeah rite!!) anyways, we check in and are quite impressed with the room. its clean, comfortable and a stone's throw away from the clean beach, not like PD. so R prepares the chicken for the Barby and the rest of us hang around. They decide to go for a swim, i take a short nap, the stupid Clarinase was making me drowsy. i join them later for a few hits of the volleyball but give up soon due to the red, bruised hands, (yeah, yeah i'm a wimp wen it comes to sports so what!). anyways, we decide to mandi air for a bit so we jump in the sea and get hit by the waves. so cool man! then we head for the pool. while walking to the pool, J tells me "Hey gal looks like there's a hole in your shorts." The stupid pair of cheap shorts which i bought in Ktn. and i feel and realise that there is. but i decide to jump into the pool anyways. the fucking shorts kept tearing more. it was tearing like paper. by the time they (my frens) wanted to leave the pool, there were huge tears in my shorts. and no one else was leaving the pool. so i just stayed in the corner of the pool waiting for the rest of the idiots to get out. it was turning dark and i was shivering from the cold, my skin was shrivelled and yet those fuckers were still in the pool. so my dear fren R gets out of the pool and covers himself with a towel and hands me his short. which i then put on in the pool and finally leave. HAHAHAHA that was actually the highlight of my holiday. hehehe luckily it was people whom i close to or else i would have died of shame. and thang god it was the day before the snorkelling. imagine if it happened wen i was snorkelling.

Anways we have our BBQ and try to sing some songs but everyoe was dead beat. the next day we wake up to watch the sunrise. but it was too dark and foggy to see anything. we have some yucky breakfast and prepare to leave for the snorkelling. we were excited. we take the boat to the Marine Park and get ready to jump in. it took me 20 mins to get used to the snorkelling gear. then wen i finally go under i panic cos of the depth of the water. shit! but after a while, (thanks to dear R who patiently waited by me) i was on my own. and it was so bloody cool. i was actually swimming with the fishies. i never wanted to lift my head out of the water.the only crappy part was that there were too many snorkellers around so we kept bumping into each other. the pandis are kiasu even underwater man, and many of them got return kicks and blows from me. i did accidently kick my dear cousin in the crotch though. it was totally innocent B. =) so yeah we head to another beach after dat but din get the chance to snorkel. we were promised another spot but the water was too choppy. on the way back to the mainland, (in the boat) we were soaked from the strong sea spray. so we reach and splash around in the pool for a bit. then shower and head out for dinner. My fren Y is the Lord of FFK (breaking appointments) so of course he din show up either days. the next day we wake up late and take a slow drive back to Ktn to catch the bus home. it was a rather sad but memorable day. end of the holidays....back to the grind blech!!! the best part though is that wen i get back i'm on a one week break. yippee yay!!!

Here again...

2007-05-14T13:29:00.000+08:00

I’ve been away for a bit. It’s been kinda crazy around the office hence my not being able to write. And yes I have been reprimanded for it. Ok since I’m trying to fit in tons of stuff I will break it up into readable pieces hehehe.

The highlights:
Busy as a bee
Made some new HOT acquaintances,
Went for a greeaaat holiday (where some really memorable things took place)

Busy as a bee

Was based in the centre of the hustle bustle of KL city. It was relatively closer to home for me, nevertheless it took me approx the same time to get to the place and longer to get home. The work there was kinda routine and not too stressful. But it did keep me on my toes cos everything had to be done on the same day. On top of that it did give me an opportunity to meet a new group of people everyday. The best part of this was the amount of money I managed to save; food was provided 5 times a day, parking fees was half the amount I am used to paying and it was closer to home so less money spent on fuel since I don’t even bother going to my regular hang out places too. The downside of that – I packed on the pounds *sob *sob. Now I can’t reveal what work I was doing there as it is highly confidential so u can assume whatever you want. Nothing illegal though, mind you. =)

Now I’d like to justify my ‘busyness’. Been involved in 4 different projects with close sometimes overlapping deadlines, 2 different forms of training with actual work needing to be done. I rest my case. The busyness did me some good actually. Not only did I learn a helluva lot I got to really know my team and the diversity of each individual. I will not lie and say that I accepted everythg with open arms and mind. I bitched and griped and whined (to those close to me of course) but in the course of time I manage to learn about acceptance and adapting. So, it did me some form of good. I’m working on a few things now but after such a hectic month, these 2 weeks we have, seem like blissful joy before we are thrown into the sea of work again.

New HOT acquaintances

Met this cute, nice guy in a club, thanks to my dearest fren who insisted that i go talk with him. but me being the 'shy' person that i am just decides to steal glances and make eye-contact. So what do my beloved cousins do....one dances with me and the other goes and introduces herself. And haha the surprise was on her. the guy knew her. Apparently they studied together at the same Instituition but my dear fren completely forgot. So anyways , she decides to share her embarassment wiht me and brings the guy over. So we talk and exchange numbers. Then i find out he just joined this organisation where a close fren of mine works (the world gets smaller everytime). He doesn't know her (barely being there a week). We keep in touch for a bit after that first meeting, smses and calls. Seems like a decent guy so no harm in being frens. He invites me for drinks and lunches which i turn down, not on purpose but due to really not being able to make it. i invite him for drinks and he declines as well cos of family matters. But we do finally meet up for drinks one evening, "I'm with my very cute, single and available fren" he says. and i think to myself "yeah rite." i never trust guys who tell me they have a cute, single fren who's available. If he's so cute how can he be single AND available. So i walk into Chilli's feeling a little nervous as it was my first meeting with this guy after the nite at the club. By this time he is already acquainted with my fren who works in the same place as he. I find them in the corner and had to control myself from stopping short in my tracks. The guy was HOT, HOT, HOT! Damn! Really and truly. So i compose myself and and act like i didn't even notice a really gorgeous guy was rite before my eyes. I was kinda surprised with myself. I've never been taken away by guys this good-looking i usually think of them as being Obnoxious Adonis Men, narcissistic and annoying. But this guy, practically gave me goose bumps. Phew!

So i arrange a few meetings after that "as a group", went back to the club where i met Cute guy A and asked him to drag along Cute guy B. hehehe. Had a pretty good time, though both don't dance (Cute Guy B apparently only dances wen he's had too much to drink). But i was in bimbo mode all nite long. Bimbo mode meaning i was still getting goosebumps wen i look at Cute Guy B. It was so bad that i actually ditched the 2 people whom i love so much (u guys are reading this im sure hehehe). the next time around i meet them for drinks, i drag my faithful colleague S along this time. She behaves very well and pretends that I had never previously said anything about them. So Cute guy A sits with us while Cute Guy B is at the same place but was sitting elsewhere. Anyways, ladi ladi da, bimbo mode was switched on.

Hoilday

The next day, my darling 'cousins' and i left for the East Coast for the long-awaited, long-overdue holiday that we so rightly deserved. Ok, ok i won't be so dramatic. but the holiday was great. We took the coach to a city in the East coast. It was a pleasant journey. The 3 of us were seated in a row and chatted all the way to the town where i spent most of my secondary school days. Ah...the familiarity of it all. I felt a warm tingle run through me. Had this strange feeling of being home. The familiarity was overwhelming. I've been away only 3 years or so, but it felt like a part of me had been left behind sigh* it's true this time, i'm not being a drama queen. I quietened down as we reached the outskirts of the town, reminiscing and filling my cousins in on the memorable happenings along the way. so many of the places brought back all kinds of memories for me.

Anyways we reach the town and a fren comes and fetches us from the bus terminal, we were then invitied to lunch at his home, i know this guy and his family for the past 10 years so i wasn't uncomfortable. After a scrumptious home-cooked meal, we proceed to the hotel in which we were staying for the nite. We were kinda shocked at the size of the room, but we laughed about it. Imagin, 4 adults in a room meant for 2 with 4 sets of luggage. My 2 darling cousins packed as if they were goin on a holiday to Australia hehehe. everything but the kitchen sink, but it did come in handy as i needed sandals. I woke up with a hangover, had only about 2 and a half hours of sleep. Was kinda sloshed the nite before with Cute Guy A and S and her husband so i threw in a few things, couldnt find half of what i needed but was running late (with the cabbie blaring its horn) so just grabbed whatever i had and thought i'd make do.

But back to the room, we have a quick fix up and we leave to do a little shopping (last minute stuff). I left behind my swim suit (can you believe that!), goin for a holiday by the beach and u leave your swimming togs. So anyway deciding not to buy a new swim suit, i decide to get a pair of lycra shorts and pair it up with a tank top. I get these pair of tights which only cost about MYR 15 and think what the heck! so anyways that nite we take the river cruise to see the fireflies which my dearest cousin calls keling-kelings. it was a slip of the tongue cos its called kunang-kunang in Malay. 'Keling' is a derogatory term for the local Indians, equivalent to the term nigger. It was quite a nice ride. Our local priest joined us on the cruise along with some of his frens. After that we had dinner and went for a midnight show - Wild Hogs which i thought was pretty good. Oh btw i was having the sniffles and it was buggin me cos i was feeling sick. Couldnt really sleep that nite cos i could barely breathe and my darling cous was snoring into my ear. hehehe. I think i will continue in the next post. Gotta go. Will leave the suspense hanging.hehehe

Ladi Ladi Da

2007-03-23T07:47:00.000+08:00

i know i've not posted anything since i left for Singapore. Tried to from my hotel room but unfortunately the connection was real slow and i just had enough time to check my emails and then hit the sack. So...Singapore was fun, had a real good time but it was not all play, we had to work and it was pretty challenging stuff. the first day was fun, we had team building activities and we laughed till we almost cried. we were so beat by the end of the day that we just went for a drink and hit the sack. the next day we had to prepare for many, many presentations. in fact the whole last 2 days were basically presentations and feedback.

Didn't do much shopping but im no shopaholic anyways and with the exchange rate...no thanks! i did get some stuff from the airport though, bought this special limited edition Absolut Vodka which was in a black bottle with the alcohol content at 50% (whoa Nelly!!). havent opened it yet. will save it for some special occasion.

I did meet up with G on Friday and him being Mr. Punctuality promised to arrive at 8pm which turned out to be 1130 pm. Thank God i followed my colleagues for dinner and drinks instead. We din go to far away from the hotel so it was convenient enough for me to run back in case he was on time (Yeah rite! like thats ever gonna happen =P) so anyways we go back to his sis' (Gr)place. remember i was hoping to surprise her but thanks to G who has a mouth as wide as the freakin Gaza strip spoiled the surprise. so the whole family was waiting for me to arrive and the worst part was her place was so close to the hotel whr i was staying.

so i chilled with them for a while and then his bro R (who loves to get on my case and has not changed over the past 10 yrs) wanted to go for a drink. So the 3 of us went to the nearby restaurant and had supper. Btw the food sux big time in this country. not that thrs anythg exotic but the replica of foods back home which i find here...horrible!! bland, no taste, no flavor blech!!!

we slept at 4am that day. Woke up the next day and took Gr's daughter for a kiddie play. she's quite entertaining this young one. talks a lot and is intelligent. Gr's baby boy is absolutely gorgeous. He is an angel. so sweet and adorable...sigh* ok this is freaking me out sounds like my maternal clock is ticking blech!!!

We lepaked (hung out) at Gr's kiddie gym the whole day and went to church. ok so it was more like i was forced to go to church. but i went to appease my godmother (G's mom). later at nite G, r and i went to Clark Quay for drinks, met up with my colleagues thr and just hung out. the next day had to go to church again and then G cooked for me - chicken sambal yummy! that was one of the most satisfying meals i had over thr. and in case ur wondering, yes i skipped vegetarian the few days that i was thr. now im back on the veggie boat! came home the next day was so beat. but had to fetch my mum and sis from my aunts place and drive home all the way. God i was so tired i couldnt kepe my eyes open but duty calls (and my family thinks im selfish!) the best part of this whole trip was an email i received on thursday nite. Remember my friend who was pissed off with me? well i was ready to end the whole thing and sent him an email the friday before leavin to Singapore to say so. but he sent me an email, in short he came back.... knew he couldnt stay long wihtout me hehehe....

So work is up to my ears and i thk i dont have a life anymore but other than that life's good!!! =)

Yippee yay!!!

2007-03-12T14:38:00.000+08:00

Yay!I'm off to Singapore tomorrow. I'm actually goin for a development program and training. But i'm more excited about meeting some really good friends over there. She does not know i'm goin. i told her brother and he has made the necessary plans to make sure its a surprise. Just hope he doesn't JK as always....=)

but its not a holiday as i was hoping. its more work. but who cares!!! im gonna have fun. cant wait to go. i need the break...hopefully i get to update my blog when im over there. or else i can only get back to blogging next monday wen i get back to the office.

love to all...MUACKS!!!

I'm back!!!

2007-03-06T14:16:00.000+08:00

it's been ages since i posted anything but have been up to my ears with work. Work just keeps pouring in. it's good in a way cos it takes my mind off all things depressing. having said that, i still don't like the idea of doing work which requires a lot of attention to detail. i'm a big picture person, conceptualising is one of my strengths. i hate the idea of going thru stacks of data, checking and re-checking minute stuff. it annoys me and it deadens my brain. i want to think, i mean really think. Give my opinions, share ideas, exchange thoughts. i find this more interesting but yet i am asked to do these crappy stuff. to say they dont know is not true cos, the whole office knows im not a detail-oriented person, by nature. so i am compared to another co-worker who likes this kind of shitty stuff. unfortunately for me, my whole team loves detail and are naturally inclined this way. The other big picture folk are in other teams, so sometimes i feel that they appreciate my work more than my own team. the worst part is they try to make me like themselves and it's 3 against 1. im judged unfairly by the work that i do which does nothing for my strengths but rather is a learning process towards improving my weaknesses. so...the story of my life. Gotta go. will continue later....trying to be optimistic here....=)

Sleepless in Kay-Hell (K.L.)!!!

2007-03-01T09:21:00.000+08:00

i woke up today and thought "Oh God i need more sleep!!" i'm having trouble sleeping again. i go to bed exhausted, i close my eyes and wait for sleep to come but it only grazes me, sweeping gently across my being. i float in and out of slumberland hoping that i would go to the most secret corner of my soul where dreams are made (my subconscious mind), where my body is rested, preparing me for the next day. But i am interrupted by the sound of the tv in the living room, a child squealing downstairs aaarrrgh!!!!! i'm a lite sleeper and any little sound can keep me up all nite. God help me if i sleep next to a person who snores. That's why i welcome sleep wen i have too much to drink. i can sleep anywhere even with a snorer bellowing next to me. Yes, bellowing!!! =)

So back to yesterday, yes, i was exhausted but could not fall asleep, i mean i did sleep but it was not the deep sleep that makes you feel refreshed wen u awake. Instead, this kind of sleep makes you crave more sleep. i'm feeling a little light-headed from my sleep deprivation.so excuse me if i sound like a crazed person this morning.

I was asked to take sleeping pills by my co-workers. i think it's because wen i am sleep deprived i turn into a total bitch. Ok, ok a Mega bitch. i can't help it. Sue says it's like "dancing with death" wen i morph into a sleepless monster. Jokes aside, frens have given me meditation leaflets, relaxation and breathing techniques, yoga (ok its the same thing), chamomile tea bags, and wen all fails, a group of colleagues prayed for me =). THAT'S how bitchy i become, i need prayers. hehehe.

i went online yesterday trying to figure out something to do and came across one of these sites where you take an online test to gauge certain stuff about yourself. i was actually doing research on Emotional intelligence and you know one can get lost in the throes of information on the web. so i thought heck why not give it a shot. it was a depression test. Fine! i'm not depressed so why not.

So, bla, bla, bla.....

Did you have weeping spells in the last couple of weeks? uh...yes!,

Did you have images and thoughts of death or suicide in the last couple of weeks? uh...not suicide but death...yes!

Do you feel like you are not getting enough support from friends or family?

Do i feel like the whole world is against me? uh..yes!

Have you lost interest in activities or things that normally interest you? Hell yeah!!!

Then came the results....APPARENTLY i'm suffering from major depression. Yeah rite!!! hahaha.

But that does explain some of the stuff i've been experiencing. Bursting into tears for no apparent reason, venting my anger on the wrong people, highly irritable, insomnia, no interest in hanging out. i have to force myself to go out, and yet i don't want to go home. Lost excitement for anything....*sigh. AND it did last for about 2 weeks plus. There are good days and bad days though. Some days i don't give a flying f**k about anything then there are days wen the whole world is topsy turvy.

I think it's due to lack of sleep. Will have to go see the doctor sometime soon....*YAWN.....

Words of Wisdom

2007-02-26T18:18:00.000+08:00

For those who read my blog knew that i was sad a couple of days ago. I thought i lost a close buddy and friend because of something i said. A colleague of mine sent me an email today and the content of it kinda tugged at something in me and gave me a good rap on the head.

IF A MAN WANTS YOU
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what
makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,

Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he
has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...

compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a
relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...

look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and
your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you
everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget
them.
BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN

I practiced some of these things, i tell some people the same things, i know most of these things, but until i read it, i didn't know i needed it!!!

To all the women out there, you deserve more than scum!! There are sweethearts out there, they just haven't found us yet!!

Drunken Mistresses!!!

2007-02-26T17:18:00.000+08:00

It was suppose to be our weekly Friday nite out after work. Grab a beer, chill and just talk. But with the latest project taking so much of everyone's time, I packed up and left the office. On the way to fetch P, S calls and asks me to join them for a drink. So i told them to come to Bangsar as i was already making my way there. P changes her mind and decides to go home, she was feeling tired, or was it just a ploy to avoid meeting my colleagues?? Hmm....anyways, i drop her off at her place and go on to meet Sue and S. They were already there by the time i arrived and had ordered a pitcher of beer as it was still happy hour. I think we started at 7pm. Oh btw, my abstainance from ciggies lasted a whole day....wow!! ok i know, seems like my pride levels ahave gone down this year. Well at least i could manage something!!!

So we drink, and drink and drink. One thing i have to mention, i cannot drink beer as it causes me to pee a whole lot more (hey i have a small bladder!!) and i get terrible hangovers even if its just one glass. But for the sake of drinking, i drink and we order more beer. In fact it seems like our table is never empty....Then R (S's other half) joins us. i always enjoy R's company. He makes me laugh non stop(not that thats a hard thing to do). So we sit and discuss things like sex and penis sizes and Sue's friends. The conversations got juicier by the minute as more malt and hop got into our bloodstreams. R met a friend and brought her over to join our table. She was big and had tattoos on her back. Somehow she looked so familiar, but i just couldn't place her. so she comes and talks to us for a while and takes her leave after a while. Apparently she is an International School Teacher. hmmm....

At about 1 am. we realise that we are starving. So we order some nachos (which were fantastic btw) and we stuff our faces with the cheesy stuff. Sue even has a burger, and she doesn't eat. seriously!!By the time we decide to call it a nite, Sue was red in the face and i thought i was fine. the bill came up to 6oo bucks! Damn! R was buzy with his friends inside the bar and left S outside but i really had to leave. So i did and i only realised i was fucking sloshed wen i started driving.

There was a police roadblock around the corner and i forced myself to look okay and smile at the officer who smiled back and let me through. After that the journey was havoc, i can't remember anything. I have no idea how i got home that nite as i was literally driving with one eye on the road. I have this thing when i have too much to drink, i can fall asleep anywhere. So i was kinda worried about doing just that, falling asleep at the wheel. I finally reach my place and try to park the car. The mere thought of climbing up five flights of stairs caused me to feel nauseous. I threw open my car door and threw up. God i retched till my stomach burned... Then i decide to have 40 winks just to regain myself. The 40 winks turned into 4 hours and when i woke up, my engine was still running and i was almost out of fuel. But i felt better, so i dragged myself out of the car and back home. But for once in my life i was scared shitless.

The next day was hell....literally hell, i just wanted to die. The hangover was horrible, it took me 2 days to recover, i slept like a baby and awoke in time to feel like dying. S text-ed me and apparently she threw up too.

So we come into the office today and give each other knowing looks. the things we spoke about were really embarrassing. But they both cannot remember so good for me hehehe as there was some bitching goin on that nite. =)

Happyness

2007-02-22T16:21:00.000+08:00

I watched this movie yesterday - The Pursuit of Happyness staring Will Smith and his biological son. It was a typical rags-to-riches film but with a twist. It starred Will Smith, Will Smith the funny man, Will Smith the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air". Well he's come a long way since then. So, i was watching this movie and it was pretty good. I mean yeah the plot was good, the acting was real and somehow the movie tugged at my heartstrings. I found myself tearing during some points of the movie. He does say something rather profound in this film. "Do we ever find true happiness? Or do we go through life always pursuing it?" or something to that effect.

How many of you know people who are really and truly happy? I mean sincerely happy and not those who pretend to be happy. Would you say that it's all in their head? i know someone who said that "no one is really happy, those who are, are just optimistic about life and all the crap it has to offer!!" I wouldn't make such remarks myself but what i do agree is that happiness is all in the head. If you want to be happy, u will be happy, if you want to find happiness then you will find it.

On the other hand, if you want to continue living a sad life, or misery is your best fren, then that is what you will reap. Look at it this way, you notice how the traffic is always heavier when you're late getting somewhere? Or how just when you think things cannot get any worse than they already something even more horrible takes place. So, am i wrong in saying that misery in itself loves company and those who seek it find it quite easily.

Having said that, im not saying that people cannot get sad, it would be preposterous to have people walking around all day with a grin plastered across their fugly faces as if they just downed a bottle of prozac. Grieve, mourn then pick yourself up and move on. With grieving comes healing.

Are we really happy individuals? Some say having more money would make them happy. But with more money comes more worries. You would think that with more money ones financial worries would be over. I know i would be happy with more money! i would link happiness to satisfaction. When you are satisfied with something it makes you feel good, and when you feel good you are almost always happy rite? I came across an article on the web, it says that happy images make depressed individuals sad! hmm.....could it be the bitterness of not experiencing the same feeling?

Anyways, happiness is a subjective matter so in the words of Sheryl Crow "If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad....."

Redemption!!

2007-02-21T09:17:00.000+08:00

Its a brand new day....the hols have really done me some good. I feel like how i felt on the first day of the year...recharged, rejuvenated, motivation levels are high and i dont give a rat's ass about anything. So, today marks the start of Lent- Ash Wednesday, the month (or 40 days to be exact) when Christians, Catholics to be more specific, take a guilt trip of the year. It's a time when we look back at the past year and ask for forgiveness. Yeah rite! like that's gonna come easy. For me, it's just another excuse for me to feel good about myself. And i don't think i'm alone in this. All of us seek some sort of redemption once in a while and for us (Catholics) it comes in the form of Lent. So is this really what Lent means? If my Cathecism (Sunday school) teacher heard me say the above, i would be so doomed!! Lent is actually suppose to open a path to goodness, a time when we try to turn over a new leaf. After Lent we are supposed to continue being good...easier said than done. i usually give up eating meat during Lent. So far it has worked. Tried giving up ciggies last year, it lasted 2 weeks till the devil (in the form of a friend) blinded me and caused me to fall! Ok so i'll stop with the drama now. This year, i'm gonna be a 'vegetable' (insiders joke) and try to give up ciggies again. I think my self-control is controlled by my high level of pride. which in fact is something i should really start managing. The more i tell the people around me i dont do something or i dont like something, the more i am able to sustain my decisions, cos i dont want other people to think im weak by failing. Sort of like having to eat my own words. A friend of mine asked me to give up something that gives me pleasure; like sex....i would if i could but as far as my sex life is concerned, im already on the road to celibacy =( so it would be cheating to give up something u don't even have in the first place rite?

*sigh...so sad, so sad....
Also during Lent, we sing the most depressing songs in church. Why does it have to be so sad? I mean we are celebrating Christianity so shouldnt we be glad?

"Crucified, laid behind a stone....,
You lived to die, rejected and alone,
Like a rose, trampled on the ground....
You took the fall and thought of me
Above All...."

So here's to Lent - celibacy, become a herbivor and try to save my lungs while i can....

Btw another good thing that comes from Lent is i always lose weight lets hope this year is the same. hehehe

Cheers

I can see clearly now!!!

2007-02-15T11:35:00.000+08:00

The rain is gone!!! I think laughter really is the best medicine. After laughing my lungs out yesterday, I feel relatively good. (Excuse me if I sound a bit poetic this morning). The fuzziness has kinda left my head and everything seems clear. I know what I want to do next, and i don't feel so lost. it also helps to know that I am surrounded by people who 'lau' me for the bitch I am =P.

So whr did this sudden change of emotion come from. Yesterday was Valentine's Day or a.k.a Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.). It's the time of the year when cheating bastards, workaholic spouses and married couples try to bribe their way into the lives of their other halves ;) For those who are celebrating SAD its a whole different story. We bitch and gripe about other people who actually fall into the traps of commercialism.

Cards (written by other hopeless romantics)
Flowers (which die within 3 days)
Chocolates (which go straight to your arse),
Wine (so he can get some action)

....need I say more?

So anyways, a few of my colleagues and I decide to spend Vals/SAD with each other. We leave the office around 5.30-ish, I pick up my baby (my car) from the workshop and we go to S's place. We ordered pizza and started on the drinks. Then we decide to play "Taboo". Everyone was cracking up and it was extremely fun. I laughed until I almost cried, the alcohol also had something to do with itlah of course. By the time we left, we were all still euphoric. Good combination Drinks + Laughter = Euphoria!!! ;P

Shoite!!!

2007-02-14T16:09:00.000+08:00

God, everything is a friggin mess!!!! I feel like eveythg has turned upside down. Work is kinda taking its toll on me, my life is sooooo f**king messed up!!! I feel like shit....Today and the past few days have been no good. To make things worse, my car has a life of its own.
The damn thing is not even a year old and its been to the workshop 3 times. luckily its still under the warranty. I owe everyone around me an apology. Have been so bitchy these past few days. Don't know how people could actually stand me. A very dear friend is also pissed with me, thanks to my fucking big mouth, I said some pretty hurtful things to him and his reply hurt even more. So will this be the end of our friendship? I hope not, i don't knw what i will do without him, seriously....

Par-tay!!!!

2007-02-12T15:19:00.000+08:00

Had great fun last Saturday nite. It was a colleague's birthday so a few of us decided to take her partying. Had to come in to work on Saturday morning. Finished around 12 something. Lunch ended about 3.45pm. Then went to visit my aunties. Left their place at 7pm. Reached home around 8pm. Was contemplating staying at home. But decided to go. Was at Bar Savannh at 9.40pm. Earliest ever been to a club. So....Sue was already there. She was the first to arrive. A and I show up at the same time. As usual I din know how to get there so he had to wait for me somewhere nearby. We ordered a drink and waited. The b'day gal was having car trouble hehehe. If you've seen her car...you'll understand why. It's funky in a way, but I'm sure it would qualify for Pimp My Ride =) Anyways the rest of the gang arrives and among them are my boss and his girlfriend. I have a lot of respect for my boss so I don't smoke in front of him or the other senior associates. But no thanks to Sue....who dared and sabotaged me into smoking in front of him....I finally did and he goes "There are some of us who have hidden habits which the rest of us don't know about" and he has this smirk on his face. Sue goes on to say "Yeah wen she found out you were coming she said 'Oh no now I can't smoke!' " Ha ha
So anyways we hang around some more. Have a few drinks.....then the b'day gal makes a grand entrance with her other half. We were told that we would have to purchase 2 bottles of liquor upfront before entering the club for a crowd of our size; 15 pax to be exact. Sue somehow manages to weedle us into the club (by being nice to the owner) and we got someone else's place hahaha. So we go in, dance, drink, dance, drink and dance some more. There were absolutely no guys who caught my attention. It was quite disappointing as the young un's were hoping to at least flirt with cute, good-looking guys. God the place was turning into Bangsar. There were machas from god knows where and overall it was just disappointing. But we did have fun altogether. Sue, the b'day gal and I were busy bitching away hehehe.

Bane of my existence

2007-02-08T08:47:00.001+08:00

So...yesterday after work I decide to accompany a friend/colleague to dinner at the 'mamak' restaurant. Her parents were just coming back from Singapore and she had to go fetch them from the bus terminal. So we chatted and she ate and we chatted somemore. Then while I was blabbering about something, someone comes up to the counter to get ciggies (we were seated next to the payment counter). So I just glance to the side and who should I see....none other than the person who has made my life miserable for the past 5 months. Aaarghh!!! I stop short in the middle of a sentence (this rarely happens btw) and my friend asks "why, why, what happen?" my palms start sweating, and my heart starts racing and I began shaking....of a sudden fear? don't know. And I try pathetically to hide my face hoping against all hopes that he should not approach our table. Why? I never expected to see him around. After all the nasty exchanges between us, I didn't know how to react anymore. So I just sat there in my seat, quiet as a mouse, looking so obviously restless. He was practically next to me, with his back facing me. Did he see me? I'm a 100 percent sure he did (it's not paranoia!!!) and it was taking such a darn long time for him to get his ciggies and get out! Then after what seemed like an eternity...he finally gets the hell out of the restaurant and I am left with this yucky feeling. It's funny cos just 2 nites prior to yesterday, I had a dream about him for two nites in a row, and...here comes the best part, I was whooping his ass in my dream, verbally and physically. well we now know what happens when i come face-to-face with a mad man!!! he really is a mad man. But i'll leave that story for another time. Btw I had the "puss-in-boots" face yesterday, kinda vulnerable and fragile! =)

Brains vs Street

2007-02-07T12:12:00.000+08:00

Have you come across a real beauty without brains? You know how exasperating it can be trying to carry out a decent conversation with them rite? I'm not saying that all beautiful people are stupid but the ones that are, stand out because you dont really expect it. The attraction to a person's appearance can hold another person's attention for a while. Then the personality takes over. I'm not just saying this based on my own interpretations but many people have told me this. The male species....they are all about appearances (save the one in a million) then when your dodgy, boring personality or the lack of it, kicks in, it's Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma'am!!! Rarely do you find a person who is not firstly attracted to an individual for his/her appearance and it usually takes longer for the "ugly Betty/Joe" with a fantastic personality to snag someone. Someone dear to me once said "As far as I am concerned, girls don't have personalities..." to which i replied "So tell me then, why do you like some girls and can't stand some?" He says "well, some of them are just nice and some have an attitude problem!" And...... what determines, or drives the attitude of a person? Can't one equate attitude with personality? Personality is the substance which defines people, if one does not have a personality, then you don't really have an identity!!!

So back to the beauty vs the street smart individual. I've oft times been told that I am a streetwise gal. So i ask people, define "street smart"? the most common answer is, "if you are left out in the open world, you would be able to fend for yourself, you'll make it!" Okay.... does that mean I am intelligent? Hmm.....intelligence is a whole other issue really! then there is the issue of brains. How successful is your book smart, nerdy friend in school? He may be performing excellently at work, but how is he doing in the "life" department? Do we judge an individual's success by the amount of money he/she is bringing in? Or are there other factors to be considered? I would say that no matter how brainy an individual is, he/she needs to be "street smart" to survive in the cold, cruel world. So take your pick, Brains or Street???

What in tarnation am I doin here?

2007-02-06T09:18:00.000+08:00

So...I told myself (and all those around me) I would never, ever, ever keep a blog (Like my mommy used to say- Never say never!) ...Why? Simply becos it would tell too much about me. It would have to be about me. But then why does it have to BE abt me. I could just write about other people instead hehehe. The colorful people who make my life "so the colourful". I'd like to think that writing about the people around me is more of a tribute rather than a bitching outlet. So....my existence is all about other people...and if you think that I will be posting intellectual stuff...think again. Its all about the ordinary, mundane ongoings in my sordid life!!!